i am her third option,
and she is my first.
it is not fair to me
but I do not say a word;
for if I asked her
to decide on one,
she would not pick me.
so i will take a small piece,
and she will take my entirety.

I miss you.
I miss you, but I shouldn't.
I miss you, but I shouldn't, because it's my fault you're gone.
I saw you.
I saw you, and it hurt.
I saw you, and it hurt, but it shouldn't have.
I saw you, and it hurt, but it shouldn't have because I should've known better.
I miss you.
I miss you, and I should.
I miss you, and I should, because even though you're gone I'm still in love with you.
I saw you.
I saw you, and it hurt.
I saw you, and it hurt, and it should.
I saw you, and it hurt, and it should because you're with him and not me.
But that's okay.
He's better than me any way.
And you deserve the best.

he was tall
i am short
he was strong
i am weak
he was the football star
and homecoming king
i was the girl
who sat alone in the library
and kept her head down in the hallways
he was loved
i was invisible
but some how
he, of all people
saw me, and loved me.
he made me feel beautiful
and made me happy
he tickled and teased his way
into my chaotic mind
he kissed and charmed his way
into my heart
but he was the sun
and i am the moon
we weren't meant to collide
but when we did
the universe exploded
and the blast sent us our own ways
he left me
but i never left him.
i follow in his shadow
glimpses of his iridescent light
is the only thing that keeps me going.
but he is the sun
and i am the moon
we will never be together again.
and that is what will **** me.

To my Grandchildren, those great and beyond,
  whom I will never meet

Know that I love you and have seen you in the
  eyes of your parents when they were very small
  
I’ve heard your voices in the trees, when the
  wind blows softly calling my name as I walk

I’ve seen your arms reaching out to me in my
  dreams, as you cry “Papa" and then drift away

Your spirit is mine, as my spirit is yours; and no
  lifetime can keep us apart

I watch over you now and will watch over you then,
  whenever the need is great

I’m that voice you hear when no one else listens, and 
  no one else understands

And the heart that feels what you will feel, when no
   one else seems to care

(Villanova Pennsylvania: February, 2017)