Being suicidal when you’re really young is so sad and weird because you stop seeing yourself in the future, you can’t even imagine what you could possibly be doing in a year from now, sometimes a month and each day you're wondering if today is the day, the day you have enough courage to do it, or if someone will handle it for you. You're walking down the street and a speeding car is coming, you don't move, you hope it hits you. You lose hope, it makes it harder for you to get better, or believe that it ever will. You start to live as if you're dead already..

i think of what i was looking forward to this season
most of it was you
untouched promises of kisses under the mistletoe
we were too far away to pull through
shattered remembrances of my love are swirling in my brain  
something i bet doesn’t happen to you
heartbreak is the flavor this season
it always has been but now i can add onto the list of reasons

you

troubled soul
let me hear all of your secrets
the ones youve let pile up and up
pour them into me
i swear i’ll listen to every single one
i want to know what put those bags under your eyes
and why youre so scared of falling in love
tell me why your dad screamed at you everyday when you were little
and tell me how it felt when that one person broke your heart
explain to me why your brain feels scattered when you try a math problem
and tell me that the reason you like the piano so much is because each key holds a piece of your heart.
let me know it all
let me store it up for you
you deserve some weight lifted off those shoulders of yours