i just wanna sleep
but all my dreams are dead.
maybe i could find a way
to wake them up instead,
‘cause all i am is tired bones
longing for my bed;
every minute standing is
a blur of pain in my head

shut my lids, count to five
nightmares flicker behind my eyes
darkness creeps, i’m alive
and time keeps slipping by

i have
no qualms
with people who
love themselves

my pause after the
“i know”
that follows my compliment
is not distaste,

rather, i have spent
so long
hating myself that
i am used to self deprecation.

i have only just
come to grips
with learning to
love myself

self confidence in you
is beautiful
but also, for now,
startling

the security cameras
at the station
have it on record
that i
adore you

just holding him in my arms,
i feel the broken pieces of myself
making peace with being broken
and learning to hold themselves together

that first kiss, i felt myself implode
and new roots took place, rebuilding;
rosy lips bloomed flowers within me
turning my head towards the sun

his hands became the cornerstone
of all my new foundations,
fingers slotted together like framework;
destiny drew our blueprints, heart-dotted i's

swooping curls of cursive,
i'm cursing as my stomach swirls.
i'd break my wrists writing love letters
just to stare and sketch his smile's curve

living:

1.) the kindest thing i’ve ever done
for all the ones i love

2.) the best thing i’ve ever done
for myself

3.) the opportunity
to be alive and actually live;
to live and feel alive

With her hair
     Like the midnight Sky
And her eyes
     Gray as the hanging Moon

She told me I was bright like the Sun
     And I wished to create
A solar system together,
     Without any space between our orbits.

it's a late night drive
down a foggy street,
completely empty and
illuminated by the
soft glowing sign of an
underhead street light.  

neon juice
flows through your veins.  
the world
forgets how to spin.  
the trees
are still and
the engine roars.  

somewhere,
everything falls into place for someone.