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Olivia Daniels Feb 2019
It started off well,
"I really like spending time with you."
and my hope soared,
it was finally time.

We've talked every day
since December
98 days
across
435 miles
and since I've been back
we've traveled
45 minutes
each week for
6 weeks
just to see each other for
4-5 hours
and I've loved
every second.


Now it's February.
Month of love right?
Despite my lonely Valentines
I smiled because I have you.
The positivity I need in life
with as ****** as it can be.

I glanced at the clock in my car,
suspended in my time vortex,
then back to your beautiful blue eyes
when you dropped the ticking bomb
I'd been waiting for all this time.

3...2..1.

"I've been thinking and
right now
I'm too busy
to balance a
romantic relationship."
beat
Frozen.
beat
I took a second to recover
beat
and reassured him
that I understood.
beat
Split second panic
I moved the conversation on
but forgot the questions zipping
around in my head
and not on my lips.

I'd spent so many nights
dreaming about us.
Told friends and family
about us.
Was ok with everyone coupling up
because I thought
there was an us.
and we were perfect together

So as I sit here,
in my dark room,
wondering what this means,
and at a loss for what to do now
time ticks by
and I have no idea
what the future holds
Olivia Daniels Jan 2019
She leaves a trail of broken heart
in her wake.
Like the River Styx, but
very much alive.

On the outside,
one would look at her and say
she's a faerie nymph
flighty, giddy and naive.

She treats boys like playthings-
they would say,
draw them to her and spit them out
her pixie pranks bereft of benevolence.

They are Theseus and Leucippus
heroes victimized by false love
they say,
the underdogs.
She is to blame.

On the inside, however,
it's a different story.
They fixate on her,
fall in love without consulting her first.

To them,
consent is an idea
and an abstract any-thing.
Something to be taken lightly or disregarded

You see,
consent is more than a verbal yes
and consent is more than ****** thing.

Consent is communicating your intent
before acting on it
and getting permission.

So it should be the same with falling in love.
No one owes anyone anything.
Best friend, dark loner type, new boy/girl in your life,
consider this before you vilify someone
for what they don't feel.
Olivia Daniels Jan 2019
He made me a playlist
of lullabies and melodies
(well really EDM)

for good mornings
when he wasn't there
but thought of me anyways

title:
Something Wonderful for the Morning
but not as wonderful as him
I hope he knows.

say hello
greet the day
drop the bass
think of you
youyouyou

In all my years of
boy after boy
I found one who thinks of me.

Lovely,
you can't understand
how much it means to me
when my philosophy has always been
music is a part of me

and you got it right.
Olivia Daniels Dec 2018
Come back to me!
i hear your noise echo
back to me your sound echos
but the reverberation back
leaves your echo
incomprehensible

i know youre at the end
of your dark dark tunnel. echoes
of your former self hanging
on the end of your rope.
Come back!

you want to give up,
lay on the hard black metal
and give up. your rope, it will
swing and hit me in its pendulum
the echo of how close I got
to lighting your way. and you
reflected off the walls.

I almost had you back,
but it is so hard to see
down that dark dark tunnel
and like sonar I listen to you,
for you, for the swoosh of jeans.
but i don't know one sound
from the other. you're so good
at hiding in your darkness.
Please. Come back to me,
whole because
i don't know
how much
longer
you
we
i
have
until
you're
swallowed
by the darkness
and your echo
dissipates
I don't know what I'd do if he made that choice.
Olivia Daniels Dec 2018
Tonight was a great night.
A warm fuzzy feel good smiles and sunlight
great night.

You wanna know how I can tell?
It's written in the stars and
the way the clouds move, like the statues
we talked about
bright stars and constellations mean
it was a great night.
Or at least a good something.
And we stood like those dark statues for hours.

good luck
good friends
good feelings
great night

You smell like musk and old cigars—
they smell like nothing because they're digital information.
I just downloaded Tinder, you see?
they smell like moonlight reflecting off your smile

Whether you or them,
I won't die alone. On this
great night at least, you're here,
they're there
and all three parties can hold a starlight conversation.
After feeling lonely for a while, it felt awesome to finally be desired.
  Oct 2018 Olivia Daniels
ArielMarriel
weakness is the bane of my existence.

if strength were an equation,
my weakness would negate it.

please just let me be strong.

i've made so much progress, after all.

weakness is a Demon
i can’t control.

a Demon that will swallow me whole.
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