i admit
my life has become an
endless blur of days
and nights
conversation i never had
and poems i have yet the strength to write.

How easy it is,
To get lost in a universe
that is entirely your own.

believe me,
i've tried to sleep .

i long for that nothingness
i'm allowed to feel .

but every night
my mind betrays me .

the people
the.. bodies
the humans..
the faces,
too many
too many faces.

I thought maybe I would be okay,
that I can do this on my own,
but my mind betrays me once again,
my lungs and heart go faster than I can carry them.

there's no way out,
I'm in too deep
yes I'm drowning

but nothing
can save me .

Life is a race
And i know I’m not winning
Nowhere near the end
But too far from the beginning
But I continue
Because the tortoise always win
So brag all you want
I’ll see you at the end