I swear I’m not a love poet but

loving you
makes me scared of dying .

I know what it’s all about now,
I get why the sun rises
and the moon sets.
I understand why the stars shine
and the birds chirp.
I get why the heart beats
and the lungs breathe.

I get it now,
why I’m alive.

but dear,
if we humans were only ever meant to be beautiful

we wouldn't have been born in
the dirt .

what if the butterfly never flapped its wings?
for fear of creating a tsunami,
i say **** the tsunami
flap your wings,
tsunamis will always be tsunamis and
a butterfly was made
to fly.

in attempt to immortalize you
i spoke to stars of you
to the sun and the moon
told them of all your glory and
they told the trees who told the birds who spoke to the fish of all oceans
i wrote your name into my soul as though it was my own
i spoke to the whales of you
of all your beauty
of your smile,
which challenges even the seas with it's depth.  
in an attempt to immortalize you
i carved your name into stone
and said a prayer to the gods of old and young

in a attempt to immortalize you
i succeeded
so you may live on
long after
humanity joins the dust

after a day long enough
that could be mistaken for a week,
I lay my ear to your chest
your heartbeat has to be my
favorite
song.

your teaching me
exactly how to hate myself
and with each flaw of mine you
point out I fantasize over
the lack of yours
so maybe I shouldn’t be falling for you
I definitely shouldn’t be falling for you

I think I have begun to reach it,
the edge of the world.
whether it is flat or round
everything must come to an end
so I have begun to reach it,
the edge of
the world
of this world
of your world
of my world.
I'm **** near the end
im so close I can caress the stars
with my fingertips.
up here
the oceans have taken the size of a mere moon.
and I think what world
must lie beyond
but I how ready I am to leave his one,
or if there even is a world
regardless
I have reached the edge of my world
and I could not be more ready to
jump.

you are so beautiful,
a soul as pure as sunlight
and a smile that challenges even the sea with it's depth.

you have captured me and my heart,
a feat many have tried and none have accomplished.

you are the kind of person worth writing about,
a poem worth speaking
a song worth singing
a dance worth expressing,
a canvas i would love to paint.

i imagine being allowed to love you is alot like runners high,
or any type of high.
but this poem is far too long,
and i have promises to keep,
and miles and miles to go
before i sleep.

all these poems I write
start with I,
I swear I’m not self centered
but they say write what you know.
So in a desperate attempt
to learn this soul of mine
All I write about
is me.
And you,
Yes, I write about you.
I write about the beauty of you.
Of how I would love to leave fingerprints on your heart and caress your soul .
I mean if you would allow me
To love you
Freely.

these bones of mine
have been
feeling hollow.

like just mere weight
than guardian
of soul.

maybe,
my depression..
has eaten them too.