there's nothing better
than a warm embrace after
the coldest silence

i always wanted to believe in the goodness of people.
i always sought to find the light at the end of the tunnel.
i always strived to go above and beyond to make others happy.

but what was it all for?
in trying so hard to help everyone else,
i lost myself in the process.
who am i anymore?
i don't know my soul.

this person, this being, i don't know myself!
it was so frightening.
i'm trying to regain a sense of self awareness,
to find out who the **** i am.

but until then,
until i find every piece of the scavenger hunt,
please be patient with me.
i need some time for self discovery.

I said your name more than I've ever said I love you
I think eventually they became one in the same to me
Suddenly your name became the most important word that would ever leave my lips
Your name, a singular word, would come to mean the word to me
And eventually
Eventually
Your name
Instead of being breathed in between the I love you's
Would soon be between the broken sobs filled with regret
I pray for the day where I can say your name without feeling each piece of myself that I worked too hard to put back together threaten to fall apart again into the mess I am now
One day
I'll be okay
And your name will only be a fleeting memory

If
          You are always sorry
When
          You think back

And
          You only worry
When
          You think ahead

Then
          You will only find
Your
          Peace of mind

After
          You are dead
WIZDUMBs BY JA 414

Please don't be lonely when I'm gone
I've been sad for far to long
And now I've become so numb inside.
I want to slowly slip away
Into the darkness I will fade.

Please don't cry when I'm gone,
I haven't been myself for a while
And now I'm lost inside my mind.
I am tortured by these voices in my head
Telling me I'm better off dead.

Please don't be lonely when I'm gone,
I've been sad for far to long

Babbling like a fool,
Proving myself a tool,
I see judgment in those eyes,
I know I am despised.

My mouth closes then,
This is not my friend.
They think I am dumb,
I feel oh so numb.

Mouth, know your place,
It is inferior, like your face.
Please, get in line,
That disdain is a sign.

Speaking is not meant for me,
I am a total freak.
They know it on sight,
My chest is so tight.

Put me out of my suffering,
Their judgment is puncturing.
Their eyes are deadly blades,
I wish that I could fade.