I can't sleep tonight
for when I close my eyes
I only see your face and remember the moments I didn't tell you
how much I love you


-em vidar

I wonder
where, when and who
decided
that love
had to be held constant
never changing
to be considered
real
and true
when ours feels fluid
creating ripples
and sometimes waves
that I
would never trade away


-em vidar

A day full of preparation
for nobody
and nothing
as you pushed us all to far.....
Now you are
alone
but still blaming it all on someone
who isn't you...
because you can't face
what you've become

-em vidar

i dread the day you learn
for the first time that
you can't just love all
the darkness in me away

and no matter how much
you care i will still toss
and turn at night and scars
might still appear on my skin

i dread the day you realize
that you can't cure me
and sometimes all you can do
is stand next to me and
hold my hand through fog
pouring out of my ears so black
and thick we can't even see
each other's faces

i dread the days i can't
get out of bed
the days you want to
take me out and all
i can manage is a prettified
shell of myself

i dread the day you learn
that sometimes no matter
how hard i try i still can't
pull myself together

the day you learn that
there isn't an answer
you can give that will
save me from my fears

you aren't the first person
who has tried to love the
darkness inside away
my family and friends
have given it their all
but someday you too will learn
that if love could
cure mental illness
the world would be
a much better place

I wanted to walk away
The fear that held me back
was unbearable.....
It left me confused
to who I was
and what I wanted.....
Questions
the uncertainty
left me chained to you....
Only through her kindness
and patience
I learned myself worth
and I was able to leave you
in the ruin
you would have made me


-em vidar

I wonder if I ever
crossed your mind
seeing as you've crossed mine
a hundred times


-em vidar

I was too tall yesterday
Too loud today
Too hollow tomorrow
Not enough the next


-em vidar