i don’t know where i’m going.

they said if we worked hard
we’d get somewhere.

but were we stupid to think
that only hard work would
take us there?

our work ethic is on fire
but our hearts were stripped bare.

i’m a robot with no name.
i’m of service to you —
here’s your fake smile.
oh, and your latté, too.

how did we become so
consumed with keeping this
machine on track?
it’s not my machine.
i want to get off the track.
but my debt always says,
“you better go back.”

sometimes my
voice escapes me

my chest so tight
like being stabbed with a knife

throat dry
heart racing
breath quickens

for what reason?

if my head weren't attached
i'd lose it in seconds.

no. milliseconds.

my head is more like
a beautiful bouquet of balloons
i hold tightly with both hands

when i'm doing too good
i get so excited that

WHOOPS!

i let them all go.

and then i'm jumping
like a ******* idiot
trying to gather them all.

but they float away fast
and i'm still jumping
while others tell me,
"it's okay, they always come back...
well, after you f i n a l l y calm down."

but i can't calm down
i lost my balloons.

of course, eventually, they do come down.
deflated and strings tangled
(or missing)

i gather them
try to untangle and repair them
and hold on tightly
with both hands
once again.

here's to you
and how all the ways
you love me
have taught me
how to love you and myself.
i'm forever yours.

i'm dreaming
of wildflowers
fluffy clouds
across the sky
finally feeling at peace
and lemon cheesecake.

creating my own
magic and peace
i’m keeping my head
in the clouds--

sometimes i look down
& i can see
all that i find
**** near debilitating.

most things are overwhelming.

i can't help it that
i can be overwhelming, too.