You weren’t willing enough,
so the job got botched.

Blood pooled at my toes,
and skin hung from my insides.
I felt like an abortion…
I still do.

The smeared fingerprints
you’ve left all over me
were shaky at best.
I looked at them in the mirror
for days.

I wanted to call you and say I’m alive,
but I would be lying…

This time, hindsight is skin-deep
and somehow, I think you knew
what you were doing all along.

I've got a ghost in my head
His voice sounds the way your nails did
Sliding down my spine.
I've got a ghost in my head
And he keeps asking me why
I didn't let myself die.
I've got a ghost in my head
He keeps knocking on my door.
I've got a ghost in my head
Been there since the day your head
Hit the floor.

There's a little girl
Who keeps talking to me
She says I should let her in.
There's a little girl at my door
Wants to know what she did.
There's a little girl
Got a lot of questions
She wants to know why I stay hid.
There's a little girl
And shes perfect
No ones ever broken her rib.
There's a little girl
She's living in a time before
Your head ever broke
Against my bedroom floor.

i think I'm going to bury you
i've given you too much time
i think i'm done hurting now
or feeding this grief of mine

i think i'm done being bitter
and holding this spite inside
despite your lack of compassion  
that no longer exists at this point in time

i think I'm done being angry
and drinking from the stream of your disdain
i don't deserve to be locked inside
this narrow perception in your brain

and i'm drained from this drought in my system
from letting you feed from the well of my kindness
when you give me nothing, nothing at all
but a hollow perception of blindness

i'm going to bury you
deep in the garden
and watch you blend with the dirt
there you can lay, bare the rain and decay
And i will no longer hurt.

We were two severely broken things
and though I was promised someone to mend me
I couldn't bear to get better before you.
so I replaced all your lost pieces with my own
and glued you back together with the blood I lost from slicing my hands when I touched you.
And when you were whole again
you decided there weren't enough parts in the world to fix me
and even if there were, I wasn't worth the effort.
And now I am even more broken than before
and there aren't enough pieces  for anyone else to mend me with
and I wonder if you ever touch your wrist and feel my veins under your skin
or look at your eyes and see my glass shining through.
Because I can feel every piece I lost
and every time my mother hugs me she asks me about the crater between my shoulder blades
that piece went to your ribs i think
and every ******* time you get hurt I know
because I can ******* feel it
and I can feel her cold fingers on my neck every time she touches your leg and I just want my ******* pieces back.

i want to taste the salt in your heart :
but you are a fictional fantasy
a fallacy
a prank pulled on me by Fate
you have been pried with a rusty crowbar
from the inside of my skull where you were hiding &
hibernating
now you’re fulfilled only by polluting and petting my brain with
day & night dreams of cigarettes & screeching feedback
& boys with ***** calloused hands & heavy eyebrows ;
you are a figment of my fractured imagination

there's something so selfish
in the way we try to monopolize and
control each other
the human existence is paradoxical
all our efforts slowly unravel
like cloth caught on sharp edges we
snag onto something
and never let go
I love you
don't you dare ignore me
I need the attention
pretend I'll never be alone
this is forever because
I said so
let's build a future together
and destroy everything
in our way
because all that matters is that
we're happy
who cares what anybody else says
you only need me
and these bed sheets
give up and surrender
to that fleeting ecstasy we encounter
together we can feel
as if we can accomplish anything
and be content
with only each other
because that's love to us