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 Jul 2018 Debanjana Saha
Pax
Pride
 Jul 2018 Debanjana Saha
Pax
Your pride is too high
you can't
even fly.
just saying.
a quote
a shoutout
a reminder
its really okay to have it we all do but we need to even it out
balance is everything.
Benji...this is your conscience speaking...

"You'll never be good enough for her,
Who are you kidding?
You aren't attractive enough,
To obtain her love.
What are you thinking boy...?
Why are you trying to destroy
everything left inside yourself.
Do you want to be addicted to this drug?
Better stop praying to the sky above...
Get back up Benji, move a little faster
or this storm is going to catch up with ya.
I know you don't give a f**k,
But you better start
Or you'll end up back in that slump
and this time...I'm not sure you'll get back up
And pull yourself back out of that dump."

Resurrect everything inside of my soul
Reignite that light, that once shined
Bring me back
So I can fight, let me find
That parts of me that I lost
in the dark
Give me the spark
to restore life to my heart

Just can't seem to get a grip
People all around me
Are gritting their teeth
Waiting for my next slip
Trying to anticipate my next trip
That just ain't cool...
Why don't you worry about yourself?
I don't need your help.
I've dealt with everything else on my own
People catch me in public
speaking to myself
I'm just talking to the inner me
trying to work out my inner being
Haven't you ever been confused?
Feeling self-accused, hurt and bruised.

Resurrect everything inside of my soul
Reignite that light, that once shined
Bring me back
So I can fight, let me find
That parts of me that I lost
in the dark
Give me the spark
to restore life to my heart

"Benji look at you now...
You crashed yourself into the ground
You tried to rebound
Back from the darkness of life
You just drowned in the blackness inside
You are losing parts of yourself
Every time you're inflicted with pain
Your soul melts
You die a little more inside
You're trying to ride this tide
But you keep running out of time
So you better decide
If you're willing to climb
This jagged cliff edge
One last time."

Resurrect everything inside of my soul
Reignite that light, that once shined
Bring me back
So I can fight, let me find
That parts of me that I lost
in the dark
Give me the spark
to restore life to my heart

©2018 Written By Benji James
To this body
Death does as it should,
Consigns the shell
To the firewood
And sets the spirit free.


Close to the fire
the heat singes me.

I know it's only the prelude
to the fiery furnace
licking my skin with flaming tongues
reducing me to powdered ashes
disappearing and in no time fading
what was me but in an instant
dusts in urns and upon wall
and years after maybe one's
untimely rains of dusty memories.
Crematorium, Dec 16 2017 midnight.
POETRY-
Words written
To heal the wounds
From words spoken
 Jul 2018 Debanjana Saha
Talia
from the start
I should've saw your mischievous heart
Like the girl who talked to you when we were eating lunch
"But, you said you had a crush on me." she exclaimed, yet I didn't have a hunch.

you're.. a player.

I should've saw any sign.
but slowly the shards of painful memories pass by that I find
you took two girls to the homecoming dance,
but before that, we had our first romance
why did I trust you to be loyal
maybe because I was blinded with love and was treated royal
there was too many signs...
Like the messages I saw on your phone when I checked the time,
that person calling you the same loving names you wanted me to call you?
her name, "Alaina?"
You convinced me it was just a "role-play" and I didn't see any red flags?
I just wanted to believe you loved me
the girl's name, Alaina
...who is Alaina?
From the very start I checked the time on your phone. I asked, "who's Alaina?"
"she's just a friend."
as months go by, you start calling me Alaina more and more.
you didn't even notice.
I strongly believe she wasn't just a friend the entire time.
I can feel the loneliness deep inside
the half-shaped moon, stripped, scorched, destroyed,
shifting, scrambled diction, hazy nonfiction, drifting
consonants and vowels lingering in meaningless
frames, confined in a sleepless state, searching for
its missing outer being to make it complete,
quivering in solemnness, struggling for freedom
and perfection, conflicting science crumbling without
reason, evaporating equations swallowed into unfamiliar
places, sunken history tumbling into the depths of the abyss,
disconnected from the great milky clouds and glorious
sun, its wandering metaphors hovering in some unknown
distant kingdom, in the depths of a solitary dungeon, dying
of its creative invention, broken sounds sluggishly surfacing
for air, fading shadows seeping further out into the inner wave
of Saturn, its decaying reflection changing between time
and space, rising and falling in forgotten eternities,
declining in rhyme and harmonizing patterns,
as shattered lovers diminish apart from one another,
locked away in frigid and featureless mazes, drowned galaxies
floating in sinking outer spaces, vivid blackness surrounding
its sunken design, lost languages falling apart into split and hidden
dimensions, swimming in stuttering syllables across the crimson seas.
 Jul 2018 Debanjana Saha
Jamie
Maybe
 Jul 2018 Debanjana Saha
Jamie
Maybe 10 years from today,
Maybe only 1 year away,
Or even just 1 day,
I will be able to say...
Words that should be said
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