this fan sounds like your old rocking chair
baby do you remember it?
the odd creek it had like the wood was trying to hold
on just for you.
i remember when
we found it on the side of the road
on one of the
hottest days of the summer and
you swore it was meant
to come home with us
because your father had one when you were a child
and he'd sit you in his lap and sing his favorite old tunes
while the sun was starting to set
and you missed those times
and i remember us cramming it into the trunk of our little car
and carrying it up three flights of stairs to our little home
and placing it in the corner of our little living room
and i remember how every evening we made it home before the
sun would set you'd drag me over to that little chair
rest your head in my lap and sing me a tune while i stroked your hair
you said your father showed you he loved you everyday the one way he knew how
so to keep the tradition going that's what you'd do to me
but after a while you remembered your father became a drunk who stopped singing to you
and then you got angry and stopped singing to me too
and one day i got home before the sunset to find that chair
we got off the side of the road smashed into shards of wood scattered across our floor
and that's when i knew you'd stopped loving me the same way you thought your father stopped loving you.

"if i could sing worth a **** i wouldn't wait for the sunsets to show you i loved you."

,sbh.

The way that I let you shatter my chest
like a piece of glass.
or the way I would let you
do it all over again.

I think I'll miss you forever. Even when I'm dead thoughts of you will be engraved in my skull. And after many years of being dead I will be completely forgotten and so will you. You will be buried with your wife and I'll be buried alone like the way you left me.

I just want you
to be happy
but sometimes
and selfishly
I want to be
your happiness

But
'happiness is a choice'
you say
and you didn't choose me

I clung onto the idea
since you made me happy
it would be the same for you

What is happiness now?
where has it gone to?
In time, society has robbed us
the real meaning of happiness

Go on your own way
and pursue your happiness
for your smile, is my smile
your laugh, is my laugh

and I'll be happy
when you find your happiness
because I love you
always have, always will

Why*  would you smile at strangers on the street
Why not,  it won't cost you a dime

Why  would you eat lunch at an affable diner by yourself
Why not,  you deserve a piece of solitude sometimes

Why  would you go stargazing and binge eating with friends on a Friday night
Why not,  life is short; Enjoy while you can

Why  would you stay in and watch 500 Days of Summer over again
Why not,  you need a good cry once in a while

Why  would you rather be with the one you love than with the one who loves you
Why not,  you define your own happiness

Why  would you write sonnets and love letters but never let him read them
Why not,  okay why not?

My life is a whirlpool of darkness.
I'm living in seclusion like the Loch Ness.
And in this life I really try my ******* best,
But I always end up getting treated worst than the rest.

At least in my eyes;
At least in my dark mind.
I used to be the positive kid,
But now I always wake up thinking negative.

Destruction has corrupted
My ill mind that's erupted.
And now I just say ***** it.
My attitude has changed,
But everyone is just clueless.

Oblivious to the situation,
Do I need to draw you an illustration?
Of how I’ll be dead soon enough,
Cause I look at this world in disgust.