Gumdrops in Candyland, teardrops in soup;
Tomato red, I spin my head;
And jump now through the hoop.

In the rain I walked, in the rain we kissed;
Paper hats, playful chats;
Forgetting what I missed.

Forethought for me, an afternoon with you;
Flick the light, to day from night,
More love, your love, I do.

Beautiful words won't save my dreams,
They're so far from what they mean;
They might be silent, or thoughts of another,
But not mine they way I imagined --

I leave the page ***** and used,
Unclear poetry of my past abused;
I am no brighter than ink,
No more pure than the empty page --

Silence is always on my tongue
While all I am inside is unsung;
I might be emptiness or not,
You'll never know, will you?

In search of perfection;
In desperation, my heart is weak.

Hollow in my mind, visions;
She's in revision, being pieced together still.

I can't wait any longer;
My lust stronger than ever, so I settle.

Time slips her away from my mind,
I'll never find perfection again.

Lifelong ignorance and bliss;
I miss the days we never lived.

Silence deepens,
        The dream fades into nothing,
                The mind weakens.
Ghosts of daughters,
        Who never felt this existence
                but are in my heart.
Laughter, unheard,
        A lot, unfelt and forgotten,
                Perfection, forever unmatched.
The dream of life:
        Never was it ever real—
                Could I just leave now?
        Never was it ever real—
                Could I just leave now?
                Could I just leave now?

I lost nights of sleep,
  Days, and weeks
    To these words I weep;
They've coiled around my soul,
  Wrapped me up tight,
    And swallowed me whole;
My blood runs black with ink of the art,
  Beneath the skin pale as paper,
    Words beat through and through my heart!
I am the poem come alive,
  I write and write
    Just to survive.

Here they fall,
    As words they lay;
Like rain on leaves,
    Then drift away—

New ones come
     Lonesome and weak;
Shrugged off by the old,
     Obese and bleak—

Stillness, then shock
     Illuminates my mind;
A scape of rusted reveries,
     Desolate and unkind—

Hallucinations by and by,
      And I chase their light;
Dreams and adorations,
     Faint whispers in the night—

Every day people astound me and I don’t know why.
They’ll astound me util the day i die. Why?
Don’t get me wrong, but where are the important people,
I wouldn’t know one if I met one. I’ve never met one.
But they’d be all that much more special if one appears to me ever.
I thought I found one once, then twice, and a third time, but before long they fell to ruin under the weight of themselves, they were abnormal and reality was normal, always clashing, and crashing, and bashing heads with each other.
I cry, oh how I cry for them to come back to reality where I am trapped. I see their reality and they do not. I wish I was like them. I wish I couldn’t see their faults and mine. As I slip away and their eyes glazed with rose pedals, I let out a shout! “Take me!” but their grins grow wide with sweet eyes and they drink my tears while I cry for them. I am sunk like a forlorn ship in the storm long ago. Like the sorrow they write about, I am that reality without readers. Unbeautifully broken. My story is worth not their hearts.

My eyes still close dreaming of you.