Most of the times,
I feel,
that you and I,
my darling,
redefine our love on
Saturday nights.

Saturday nights,
when the sound of our
heartbeats mixes with the wine.


When you swerve your hips,
to the tunes on the old gramophone.

When every streetlight seems like a shooting star.

Passionate,
wild,
mad,
in it's very essence.

Chaotic,
extraordinary
and beautiful,
define you,
my love.

You breathtakingly
naked and beautiful soul,
is the gateway to the Universe.

Swooning and high off
your fragrance,
all I want to do is
make love with you,
till the yearning moon
gives way to the jealous sun.

you are a summer night

the way you keep me up

so hot the sheets stick to me

i have to open the windows,

take off all my clothes

morning comes and i still

feel you on my skin

Just lay with me
And let me tenderly
Squeeze out your pain.

Let the feeling of my body
Cradled next to yours
**** up your hurt.

My lips pressed to yours
Make me moan slightly
Soaking up your poison.

So just lay with me.

Intoxicate me.

Draw me in.

With your darkness.

I don’t know why.
I had you pinned to the bed
and you were finally gonna let me
kiss you. I wanted it to be perfect
so I got up to turn off the TV or
light a candle and I don’t know
what happened but I still haven’t
kissed you and you got married
in April.

The way you looked
at me: ***** and smug,
I haven’t seen anything like it
in years. I’ve subsisted on fumes.
It’s not easy concocting that
in a woman.
I tried to kiss you once before.
We sat on my porch.
You stroked my
hair. I leaned in.
You ducked out of the way
quicker than if I'd
thrown a fastball at your head.

You went back home to the South.
I commemorated my survival
by putting a black X through
each day on the calendar.
Love was finally going to happen to me.
Every day I was getting closer,
or further away,
I'm still not sure which.

I had a lot of dreams about you then.
I wanted them. If I couldn't
have you during the day, I’d make you
visit me in the night.
Once you were wearing
a sweater that gleamed like snow,
my lips touched yours like a bow
on a violin string.
We were both looking for clues,
for God or Fate to tell us what to do.
You crashed your car after you told me
on the phone your friends thought
we should be together forever.
You stopped talking to me after that.
I cried for three days and nights,
but I felt like I should've cried longer.
Tears came all the way from
the tips of my fingers,
the soles of my feet.
That grief was the last time
I knew how to use every part of myself.

I saw you next in a bowling alley.
There was some other guy
you were getting attention from.
He wasn't your boyfriend either.
You were so nice to me
that I knew it was over.
I wondered what God was trying
to tell me and decided He was
******* with me (a bowling alley!)
so I stopped listening altogether.

I haven’t had as much love
(or, more likely, ***)
in my life as I planned on.
I’ve withheld reservoirs,
waiting for the right girl,
my energy going into work,
leaking away in various diversions.
Meanwhile, she’s yet to show up.
It’s a hobby of mine,
entertaining suspicions
that she might’ve been you.

Once I sent you a message
saying I’d do anything
to make love to you.
That’s not exactly true,
but that doesn’t make it
a lie either.

I had a dream about you.
Someday my kiss
will land on your lips.

I have written words crafted
with tears and love
you were my colour
but every chapter is
a new beginning
you’ve turned your page
and i now have to follow
so goodluck on your journey
and i hope
and i pray
that i will find someone
one day
who reminds me
of you.

I went to visit a friend today
but thats obviously nothing new,
i saw her home, cold and wet
and around it, briars grew

i walked towards it hand on my mouth
the rain just started to fall,
but i didn’t cry out, not a word to spare
feeling oblivious and really quite small

i saw her in the flowers thats grew
in the sun and in the trees,
her laughter whistling through the wind
that old soft summer breeze

I imagined her smile, that warm touching voice
or the way her brain seemed cuttered,
her touching heart, her beautiful soul
the way my heart had fluttered

i didn’t want to forget, that angel face
or the way her clothes had smelled
her comforting touch, her helping hand
the secrets her eyes had withheld

As i sat next to her new home
‘Abigail-grace, with love-
devoted daughter, mother and wife’
i clenched my jaw, let out a long breath
feeing old in this half life

I talked for a while, not sure how long
telling her about my day
the flowers i left were bright and fresh
as new clouds had begun to grey

I cried hard that night alone on my bed,
but thats obviously nothing new,
my home now feeling old and wet,
and around my heart clawing briars grew.

Memories of past present and future invade my personal space, strangling me with their claws of deception.
I struggle against them, desperately trying to escape, the impression they leave suffocating and reaching with long tendrils for my most inner thoughts.
The darkness is almost touching me now, dancing, playing, teasing. Just so slowly spreading into my world and my life.
I can’t control it, only decide to live with it, understanding it and fighting it every day. Until i can’t fight it anymore, and then the small light which was burning slowly, was fading fast. It was close to me now, circling dangerously, i tried to escape but found myself jumping into the void, greeting it as an old friend.

On those nights where you sit and talk,
when the crisp air surrounds you,
when everything seems at peace
You open yourself up in a way you hadn't before.
There is no need to hide.
Act as if there is no judgement,
but only your soul and the stars.