There was a time when I gave you all that I could give
I've lived moments of my life in the sheer pursuit of you,
trusted you, refuted the news that you have found
and bound yourself in the hidden part of someone's heart.
There was a time when I knew what I was doing
choosing between what I really wanted and what I needed
succeeded in pushing smiles to frowns and ups to downs
I've been around this part of life for a long time.

There was a time when I gave you all that I could give
I've lived moments of my life, just hoping you would notice
but the days seem hopeless when your smile settles stitched
betwixt the happiness of another person. This heart feels frozen,
dilapidated by chosen mistakes, seems that my face
wears the sullen blame of losing what was left of this heart.

This heart seems to beat faster than I've thought possible
in hopes that you hear it's messages, the passages of confession
a relayed succession of beats like the roar of a drum.

But the days seem hopeless.
The closest I've come to being happy
was thinking back on the laughs we shared.
Oh, but it's all a distant memory now.
Goodbye beautiful girl,
I'll always remember you in my heart.

Tears eroding my love for you,
Too many rivers I've cried for you,
I wish I'd never kissed you,
I wish you'd never held me,
I'll be fine again
right after I demolish your face,
You were never going to lead me
to a bright place.

You, you only messed with my head,
brought my love back from the dead,
made promises you couldn't keep,
never said goodnight,
let me drift alone to sleep
and living in your silence
has told me all I needed to know;
all the words you haven't said
have shown me exactly what you meant.

I can't amputate my
disappointment forever,
I can't keep burying my face
for your name's sake,
now my pain will leak in ink,
and don't dare ask if I'm still yours,
because my answer will be
a slammed door.

I was drunk off the thought of you.
As I withered in the void you left in me,
I would find comfort in the thought of your hand in mine,
In the dreams of us sharing a last embrace,
Of your bliss melting in my mouth

In the kisses we would never share

Sleepless nights would be spent longing for your warmth
My arms longing to wrap around you waist
And my head spinning from a late night's crush

Why must you haunt me?
Why must I be addicted to the brush of your lips against mine,
The comfort of your kiss?

It's funny how, by trying to put myself together,
I flooded my heart with grief
And warped the world around me,
All from thinking of you

I hated loving you

everything hurts all the time
the smoke stings
the strings of the guitar eroded
the chemicals that make me smile don't seem to be working anymore
my brain is done for
it hurts my chest
down to the core
i just want to feel something
that isn't this pain
it's all i know
when you sleep
it's the time where i can finally cry
where i crave to die

my pen quivers above my paper
my fingers tremble & i fear
the ******* scream caught in my throat
will soon escape and tell all.

the page rots in front of me, ink blots
instead of words and rhymes, that's all
i can manage, my heart is cracked &
i feel the tidal blue deep within
begging release.

used to that i could write day in and day out,
my heart mapped out on college rule, notebooks full
but now it's an empty vessel, with dust and smoke
instead of firelight passion.

the day i met you, the day i kissed you,
you scorched my soul and burned the very words from
my lips, my dry aching desert heart, i'm floating away,
gone.

my pen quivers, my fingers tremble, my eyes water,
since the day you stole my pottery heart,
i haven't written a poem, not a single line,
not a single word.

We talked about
The things
I couldn't put you through.
The end of my pain,
Your genesis.
My life unknown
Unused,
Swallowed whole.
Slowly, each day —
Hell upon Hell.
Falling stars
Crashing to ground,
Cataclysm.
Friends. Lovers.
I never meant to waste away.