people only call me kind
because i'm good at pretending not to be evil

people only call me happy
because i'm good at hiding my feelings

and people only call me smart
because i acted like it

the truth is

i'm evil
i'm sadistic
i love pain
and i love inflicting pain.

i'm full of lust
i wanna do things
things that are  beyond imagination
evil things
i might love your soul
it's just i never told
that i want you entirely
your body, everything
call me pervert
at least i'm being honest.

i am sensitive
i ached on every single
words all of you threw at me
deep inside i have a volcano
filled with magma of hatred
but i chose to let it go
i chose to let it cool by itself
because i know no one cares if i get mad anyway.

i pretend to be smart
because i want to fit in
to be part of the society
even though how ****** up the community is
i pretend only to
to fulfill everyone's hope
about my so-called intelligence.

i'm just truthfully fake, i guess.

my universe
will never
ever ever ever be the same without you in it.

You don't want me
Is it?

It's okay
I understand.

No one wants a stupid
Poetic, weak guy like me.

Is it wrong
For me to want you
So bad
I feel like I'm going insane
Because every second possible
My mind would search for your scintilla

****, your eyes.
******.
I'm just, oh god
Just so in love with your eyes.

I always imagined myself
Staring into the ocean
And storms inside your cold eyes
Reminding me how lucky I am
To ever have you.

I guess
Write about you
Is all I can ever do.

Why?
Ah, the reason is easy.
You don't want me.

Violets
The word tingles me
Somehow.

I don't know
But it feels weird.
To me
Violets roses are
Definitely more beautiful
Than red ones.

I feel like
Everything is a metaphor
Including you.
You're violet
And you're more beautiful
Than the blood running
In my veins.

But then
The sky is black at night
And violets
Would be swallowed.
Influenced.
You'd turn into black
Even if it's only for the night.

Metaphors inside my head
Irrelevant, illogical.
I imagined you
Turning into a radiant violet
Rebirthed at dawn
Majestic.

we're all lost
and no one wants to admit.

we're all sad
and yet no one wants to believe.

we're all actors
and actresses
of our own stage
of life
and yes we're fake.

who'd care if i die?
who'd care if you died?
the optimist shall say
"some will"
and the pessimists will say
"no one will"

but **** all that
we are who we are
we're champions in our own eyes
full of glory
learning from our failures
healing our wounds
goals set afar
footsteps can be heard

and from there
we will prevail
we will not fail
as we
are who we are.

waves of terror splashing in my face
as i saw you leave
my heart's screaming
'she's leaving!'
'do something!'
'try anything!'
'make her stay!'

but my body just froze
and i felt
the door to my heart closed
and not long after that
it too, froze.

there are so many good things to believe in this world

but we chose to believe in only few.

luckily, no one has ever asked me why i loved you.
why?
you know why.

it would be very hard to answer because
the reasons are infinite.

sometimes i love you because of
your smile
your laugh
your jealousy
your kindness
you're ecstasy
wait, where did that come from?

let's try again.
sometimes i love you because of
the galaxies in your eyes
you're ecstasy
the deep blue seas in your heart
you're my loveliest enemy
and your own field of gravity pulling me closer.

diamonds are blue
and the skies are, too.
most of the times i just love you
because you're you.

you know
nothing or no one can change you
and i'll always love that about you.