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Jacqui Aug 2015
I wrote you a letter every month we were together,
so you would know how much you really mean.
It entailed my thoughts,
through the written words,
my love for you was told.
A present for you, at one time,
just a reminder for how long you had been mine.
But besides these letters,
I spoke the truth,
You were to know how I felt every day,
so that not one second would you doubt my love.
I begged and bargained with those up above,
that you would understand my love,
you did and you smiled,
as my words and my gestures were strong and enough,
Not one second did you forget my love.

As we began to grow,
a future in tow,
another letter written with love.
I realized I forgot to see,
if you loved me.
Not my best but had to get the words out
Jacqui Apr 2015
The 'Hello Beautiful!'
and the warm hugs,
just the thought brings a smile to my face.
Your kind words and soothing phrases I have not heard before,
heart-fluttering, soul-smiling, refreshing, breathtaking.
When our hands are gently laced,
or even when I squeeze,
the world doesn't seem as scary
and the monsters aren't really that bad.
As we sing along to the radio,
our melodies of life overlap,
worlds and song colliding,
still saying on the same track.
My demons are hiding,
as you push them away,
they can't hurt me when I am with you.
Two halves don't make a whole,
for us,one and one makes a better two.
My happiness is hard to put down into words,
as nothing seems to come out right.
A smile is constant on my face,
I fall asleep calmly each and every night.
Jacqui Feb 2015
I want to live a life worth living,
one that I can smile at every day.
A life that does more good than harm,
one where I have the final say.
My life is mine to live,
it isn't for anyone else.
A life where I embrace the doubt.
For every day is not perfect,
and I may scream and I may cry.
But at the end of the day I want to go to sleep,
knowing that I've tried.
My life is mine to embrace,
take in all the love and all the fears.
For life isn't always kittens and rainbows,
and it isn't always nightmares and tears.
Jacqui Feb 2015
Why hello there,
these feelings that have been hidden!
You came out of nowhere,
escaped the depths of the walls in my heart!
You demanded your way out,
no choice be to be felt.
The smile is swept across my face,
and I can feel the happiness radiating from the core of my soul.
The way you make me feel is a beautiful one,
and the feelings I feel are exhilarating.
My body is rejuvenated with the passion of you.
The newness and the greatness of you,
overwhelms my body,
pulls me under.
And those breaths of air are just enough.
Jacqui Dec 2014
You've poisoned my once favorite songs
as I sing the words I can only taste your mouth.
As my music use to be my escape
Now, it pulls me back under.
I'm trying to swim
with weights around my ankles,
and waves that keep pushing me down.
Where is the shore?
As the lyrics play through my mind,
my heart sinks to my stomach.
The memories of us replace the rhythms,
and my sad broken heart, replaces the happiness I use to feel.
Jacqui Dec 2014
When I was younger my sister asked me what was love.
I told her it is when you care about someone a lot.
This definition is result of my innocence, of my age.
I did not know when I told her that love would be the heart-wrenching terribly beautiful story that it is.
I didn't know that you would give your all to someone who would just walk out the door.
That you could picture your life with them as a main character... just to have them find someone else.
I could not tell my sister that your heart will drop into your stomach when you think they might be gone.
That you might need constant reassurance for days to come, as that evil thought still clouds your mind.
I couldn't tell my sister that sometimes it is a one way street. That sometimes you will do all the loving.
I couldn't tell my sister that the pain of lost love, will haunt your next love. That it is a break that will never mend.
I couldn't tell my sister that your heart still drops when you think of them.
My sister didn't know that your happiness may be set aside, and you'll look out for someone else.
Though, I could tell her now.
I could tell her how you feel you are floating on air and how each day just seems better.
How your jaw hurts from smiling and your stomach from laughing.
How the happiness you feel with another, is indescribable.
I could tell her how life seems easy and the future looks bright.
I could tell my sister how you long to form memories and want to create a world.
what I couldn't tell my sister,
is how amazing it felt to hold your hand.
Jacqui Dec 2014
I write the words that I wish I could hear,
they flow from my lips, from my fingertips.
A gentle sound that wraps around my mind,
a peaceful world encompasses my soul as I write.
I record what is important to me.
As the way I feel and what I wish I could hear,
power this drive to fill the world with my words.
I speak to those that I care,
I will use my words to share
the way that I feel,
as words can have such an effect,
and I do not want to let any feelings be left.
While my words may not change lives, or move mountains,
they release my soul and make the weight lift off my shoulders.
While when I write it might not be exactly how I feel,
it is the words and feelings that I wish to hear.
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