What is it we see and so often despise,
when we view ourselves using only the eyes,
that distorted image inside our head,
the old snakes skin that we’d like to shed,

dare we look from behind the frame,
beyond the self-loathing, repulsion and shame,
our vesture is woven from the beauty inside,
so take on its mantel and wear it with pride.

Deep inside
my heart cries,
out of mouth,
insidious lies

Crimes of lust,
feeling no passion.
Sense of mind,
soon will be crashing

Took it's toll,
pay no mind.
Alone with another,
sight is blind

No conscience, no guilt,
laying in bare
Wait am I thinking?
I really don't care

It's only a game,
but I can not win.
I am a cheater.
Living in sin.

Time to get you ready for
another day of life.
Pick those pearls you so adore
that sparkle in the light.
Hair in curls of innocence
parted 'round your face,
a dress sewn with diligence
pocketed in lace.
A dash of blush upon your cheek,
a lovely big bouquet,
and perfume from your prized boutique
to send you on your way.
But all this trouble puzzles me, I confess.
From deep in the ground who is left to impress?

Looking at the world
through acidic eyes.
Thunderstorm kisses,
pouring through dark skies.

Bands of rage and temper,
feelings all caged in.
Powder keg explosives,
blowing up again.

Black and blue circles,
hid under the cloth.
Red drips from my nose,
broken at all cost

Ripped down at the seams,
by every human thread.
Abandoned and afraid,
wishing I was dead.

I am not amused
Or even remotely enthused.
It's truly sad to see how much
our friendship you've abused.

Fresh to death
in Sunday's best.
Plastic pressed
I left
                  the mess.

slit of the wrist
pop of the pills
once you do it life doesn't go back
sip of the whiskey
finger on the trigger
BAM
you're dead
are you happy now
now that its over
you sure aren't forgotten
put the knife down
put the pills in the bottle
spit the whiskey out
and release the trigger
the pain is real
I know that
but the pain for everyone else will get worst
if you say good bye to this world
so  keep your head up darling
there's no need to fear
if anything bad happens
I'll be right here
stay strong
be safe my dear
it'll all be okay
no need to shed a tear
so don't pull the trigger
or pop those pills
don't guzzle that whiskey
and don't slit your wrist

All I want is to feel pretty
All I want is to feel loved
All I want is to be skinny
Not the obese pig that I am right now
If I could fall into a man's arms
If I could look into a mirror without crying
If I could just once
Step into the world with
A genuine smile
Maybe I'd realize
Maybe I'm worth it

I hear the silence
ringing my ear.
It's eerily piercing
no one can hear.

Blocking the sound,
getting much closer.
Dripping in sweat,
terror no venture.

Shackled with chains,
bound to cold steel.
Can't break away,
madness come feel.

Padded inside,
ceiling all white,
Ninety four tiles,
count every night.

Shadows walk by,
steps by the dozen.
Sitting in darkness,
silence and frozen.

The lights go on.
the lights go off.
Sanity is gone.
NOW GO *******!!

I stared in the mirror, looked at my own sad reflection and
wondered,

When did I abandoned my own self?
When did I lose my grip of my mental being?
Why did I hide under the covers to get away from the monsters?

I have never looked in the closet because I was afraid of what I might find.
My fears of the unknown have always taken me for a ride. A ride, I still can not get off of.
I have tried to lock the demons away in my mind, into the abyss. They always seem to break out of their prison and crucify my soul, when I am the least capable of fighting back.

My whole life has been in total blackness inside the belly of the beast. Only when I close my eyes, do I see a small glimmer of light or hope.

Then I wake up and realize the mirror that I have been staring into the whole time was broken and shattered.

DID I BREAK IT?