Don’t judge me for my mistakes or actions.
I am still trying to absorb all the knowledge and wisdom I can.
I’m not perfect, nor do I care. I crushed others feeling, lied, manipulated, deceived and disappointed others.
I am young, stupid, and reckless.
I want it all. I want the attention and recognition. I would do anything to get it. I will **** my way up to the top if I have to.
I’ll keep marching on like a broken robot. I’ll be fake until I make it. I’ll follow these rules to get what I want. I will stab others in the back to get ahead.
In the end of day no one will be there by your side. Get ahead and don’t look behind. No one matters and deep down no really cares.

A little girl found a deck of cards
On her daddy's poker table.

She always knew how to make a home
Out of a gambler.

Her hands were steady as they were small
She built a tower, stories tall.
When daddy returned, it never fell.
The boys bet his chips around it.

We built this family with a house of cards
Steady hands and racing hearts.
We built this family with a house of cards.
Queen of hearts, two of cups.

Daddys a fool, played his part
Just half a step into the dark
When A little girl found a deck of cards
Sitting on her mommys altar.

Her hands were steady as they were small
She watched her house of cards grow.
When mommy returned to Tarot.
The cards had found themselves
a different owner.

We built this family with a house of cards
A good read, a bad hand.
We built this family with a house of cards.
The fool, The queen of hearts

The dealer busts, we grow old
A little girl can build a home.
With nothin' but two decks of cards
Shuffled all together

The first time
you said you loved
me, it was as if
I had been pulled aboard
a life raft after being
lost at sea. But
I see now that this
raft is littered with
holes and
we are sinking, but
you are convinced
that your love is a
teacup to scoop out
the water pooling around
my ankles and you will save
us, but the teacup has a crack
down one side and
do you see where I
am going with this?
A tablespoon of water
will never put out
a forest fire; I am burning
through acres.

This is a surprise,
This sudden bloom that has
Poked its head out
From the remains of two messy years
This is a surprise,
But I'm glad to see it.
I just hope I can help it to grow well.

I'm tired.
Tired of everything.
I just want to sleep,
And never wake up again.

No, I'm not lazy,
I'm not running away from life.
I'm just tired of the world and myself,
And too tired to change anything.

I hate myself
I ******* hate myself
I’m grotesque, unlovable
A plunging centre with a broken frame

I have edges made of ice,
That are sharp to a lovers eye,
I’m touchable and untrue

But little do they know from first glance,
Eyeing my deadly ice brinks,
That an embrace of their ample warmth,
A hug of their soul,
Alas my sharpness can shrink.

Left is a pool of water bracing to be boiled,
Awaiting to be frozen again,
I find myself weakening to be loved, I announce,
Thou whom melt my blades here claim;
Enthroned!
Take comfort in my land of voluptuous edges,
The kindness and beauty within me spreads,
over their body with my trusting tongue.

But all it takes is a gust of cold wind,
A breath of cruel words,
A shrug, of unawares.

I hate myself I do,
As I freeze up sharp icicles anew