i smoke cigarettes to blacken my lungs so they can match my heart
cough up tar in my morning caffeine that excite the drugs that i impart
after i inhale green to forget that i’m alive
then i balance it with aderall so that my anxiety will thrive

im prepared for the fire because my house has been burned before
those glowing flames don’t seem to be so inviting anymore
like how drugs come with a fear of peaking
when i dip myself in acid then wonder if my brain is leaking

somehow i have fit my ambiguity with the thoughts i consider more real
death is inevitable but am i really living if i have emotions i cannot feel
although i know this is not a dream because the scars i’ve pick at don’t bleed as before
and the crow awaits me singing my death as so, nevermore nevermore

I’m waddling around with wattles.
Nothing in a bottle will change that.
Not buying a better looking hat
Or a brighter, tighter shirt.
My childhood left in the dirt,
I’m an old man! I do what I can
To not look like a wino under a bridge;
A smidge of aftershave so I don’t stink
And people don’t think I’m decaying.

What I’m saying is, I’m getting old.
Graying smudges among the gold.
This is me. This is what I see daily
When I glance gaily into my mirror
Expecting the guy as young as I feel.
He isn’t real. An old guy sneaked in
Again, and I wish I hadn’t peeked.
Oh well, this isn’t really hell.
I have never thought I was hot,
One of those handsome lads that had
Everyone’s heads turning for them.

I had dim hope there for a while
But, no matter how much I smile
Nothing wins like smooth skin
Broad shoulders and big pecs.
I mean, I was not a wreck, but not
As I said, even a little bit hot.
Oh well, I got what I got, true?
Can I or you ever defeat genetics?
Like father like son, and mother,
Creates another generation of us;
Nice guys and gals, but plain,
And this old man is what remains.

Sliced Jugular vein
           Blue wrist
Fates fatal,cold kiss
           Body of blood
Coronation of death
           Deminishing life
The rotting smell of flesh

Ceased to survive
             Smouldering corpse
Decaying carcass
              Unnaturally enforced
Hair of spider web
               Deaths new bride
Funeral of the pulse
               Riddled with acide

Creature of havoc
                Crawls into bones
Eyes of maggots
                Crumbling tomb stone
Laying in the pits
                The worms eating brains
Bound there forever
                 Until crumbling from deaths chains.

I like the dark.
Nobody can see you
Or what you are doing.
What your expression is
Or what your emotions are.
You can cry in the dark and nobody noticed until
They shine a torch in your face.
Your eyes change colour in the dark as your night vision adapts.
Like your eyes, your mood can change.
From happy to sad by watching a gut-wrenching scene.
Nobody notices.
Nobody knows you are there.
You can be so invisible in the dark,
It's like you aren't really there.
Like you've faded
From the very world and time itself.
I like the dark because I can be me
With hundreds of people
Surrounding who never notice or see.
It helps me see them for who they really are.
Whether they are truly good or not.
I need good people,
To share the light and
Pull me back into reality
When I'm too far gone.
To comfort me in times of sadness and to share my pain.
Or simply to be there.
Like I said,
I like the dark.