I am so happy for them, but at the same time I am deeply sad, that I don’t have what they have which is true love. In a perfect world me and you could of made it work, he was kind, independent, generous, forgiving and had a sense of humor that made me laugh. If I was still with you. I would have never met him. Maybe I would have never kissed him. Maybe I would have never slept with him, maybe I wouldn’t have gotten attached to him. Maybe I would of been happy with you. Instead I am setting here without a date in a table full of people who aren’t even my true friends, drinking a margarita pretending, that I am having fun. I have to see the guy that broke my heart dancing with the maid of honor laughing and enjoying the night. I want to run away far from this place. I am hopeless in love with that guy on the dance floor. Our relationship meant more to me than it did to him. Do you remember that one night you spend the night, and told me about our future? You said that one day we will move away from here and live in Seattle. We make it work cause love conquers all. You said that we will one day have our own story that people will wish to have. Instead you left and broke that promise. I never seen you since. Now I set here in a room full of people, and I feel completely alone. I wish you were here. I wish you could ask me to dance. So I can lean into you as you grab my waist and hold me tight. I want to gaze into your eyes and only think of us. The world is still spinning except your no long a part of my life. I am still sitting alone. He hasn’t acknowledged my presence. We haven’t spoken a word the whole night. It’s clear he has moved on. I left the wedding alone, but it’s okay. I need to move on without him or you. The chapter has ended in this book, but a new chapter is awaiting, maybe with a happy ending. I still think of you, but maybe I shouldn’t. I can’t seem to be that girl who used to be happy. I drown my mind with endless thoughts that don’t have an answer to. I can’t think about what could of been, what I did wrong, or what changed. Love isn’t always forever, but if it true love it will last forever and always.
This is what I felt at a friends wedding, and I never really taked about it. So I decided to write about it.