woman

you are
dazzle,

powdered
stomp of
colours,

mist dew
bright of
song,

melody
of a hum
when you
speak,

clear eyes
sparkle on
the surface,
delicate,
serene,

today you
said softly,

budge a little
in the path of  
an evening sun,
it gets into my eyes,

you shall be
the death of me,

should I be left
with words and
rhyme,

these stiff
laces of device
I call poems,

of what use
are they,

you will
not be
here,

my heart
gnaws,
twists,

caught
in perils
of desire

oh garbage
words,
you are a
beggar's
lament

be away,
let me
gaze at
her while
time benignly
spins a top,

soon it
is bound
to topple

this alphabet
string,
pearl scatter
of a necklace,

be away,
verse,

futility,

to live in
a papered
world when
loveliness
shrivels
to another
lost moment,

be away,
illusion

let me see
it as it is

her yellow
dress,

gathering
light,
her terse
shades,

her yellow
dress  

let
dreams
tarry a
little,

speckled,
hypnotized,
sunshine,  

her
yellow
dress

shall be
the death
of me

I wonder what my future wife would be like,
If she'd be exactly just like me..
I wonder if she'll be the same height
Thats.. 5ft2/ & on a good day 5 foot 3
I hope i can make her laugh
Make her smile as soon as she wakes up
I would learn some ukulele,
just to serenade her at breakfast
And when the stars come out to play at night, we'll behave pretty wild, young and reckless
And if i ever make it as a star someday,
I'll write songs about all these moments
& I hope she likes how i met your mother and crosswords too
And inspires me like a camera to stay in focus
Oh I just don't want to believe that theres nobody for me
Cause i'm a truly, true romantic..
So universe if you're listening
Find the girl that I keep missing..
& send her a sign from me

Life is not to be understood but to be taken              to its full potential
                                       A bit like love
               I don't know how our paths crossed or why we're here
             worrying on these questions is a sin
       For I enjoy the time we spend
                           The passion in your eyes is a dark brown yet shines a light hazel in the sun
         Black jet hair with every strand curling from end to end
                     My fingers running through it
I can feel your breath
              Releasing tension with each inhalation
       Whispering your doubts through every touch
     Your rich laugh full of sincerity allows for a smile
               Silence we share as we lean on each other
                        Everything around us could fall and we'd stay still in each other's arms
                       .Vulnerability.
To the moon and back
            Below the depths of the ocean
                         As high as birds can fly
As far as the milky way
        All the stars in the night sky combined
                                 As many times as the sun has set on the west
Every **** second since we first met
                 Have I always had feelings for you
                    Mediocre and immature at first
      Yet I've fallen completely and utterly in love with you
         Vulnerable love yet I leave it in your hands

Sometimes
I still
Think of you

Only hundreds of miles away
A train took me away
So far, far away
To a new day

I regret to say
That even though mostly
I've forgotten
Let go of the past
Finally
Some days I think about you and
Us
The happy and the sad
The times we snuggled up together
In the morning before you had brushed your teeth
So you refused to kiss me
But I still stole kisses from you anyway

And then sometimes
I remember the breakup
And how ugly it got
And how cruel we became
Slandering each other to our friends
And calling each other names
So I wonder if it was true love
Like we said it was
And even if the onlookers disagree
I think I know
That we loved each other, maybe, once

I fear intermittently,
I get terrified
Of the thought
That I will never fall in love again
With someone else
The way I fell in love with you

And some alien longing
That I try so eagerly to repress
Is still beating in my chest
Some wish born 6 years ago
When I was so young
And we held each other in our arms
And I told you I loved you
And you got so excited, you almost cried
And you kept telling me again and again and again
"I love you. I love you. I love you!"

And then eventually,
Months later
those words evaporated
As we separated
And even though we claimed to still love each other
I could no longer find a genuine love in you
And I think it had left me too
Only to be replaced by selfishness and hate

I have
This weird dream
Two people sitting at a screen
One expressing her soul
The other receiving,
Reading
But where does this knowledge go?
My intention is to move your soul
But does it fail?

Sometimes I still think of you
And I find it unwarranted
But I can't help myself from sinking back into the
Warmth of these memories
The nostalgia brings me ease
It takes me back to a time
When I still held hope in my youthful heart
Before the trauma reshaped me
Before the disease
Of my identity
Re-made me
Into this cynical, skeptical being
Who can't receive relief

Sometimes I experience
A vestigial grief
For everything I once had
That I took for granted.

One night soon
someone
will strike a match
on a stone
and read my name.

i have a fear of being alone
when all i do is push people away
i'm afraid of living in an empty home
but i'd destroy a full one anyway

Just when I saw the wet eye,
noticed the shake in it's hand,
felt the body going backwards,
saw the brightness inside it,

Just when I touched the warm skin,
connected with the speed of blood pumping,
realised the micromovements,
touched inside it,
is when I understood human emotion.

Someday I want to
see clearly
with my eyes
closed