it's hard to admit that
maybe we were on
different paths, and
maybe they were
never supposed to
cross.

Yeah, when it is about someone who means nothing to you...
Why would you ever have time to call back?
Why would you ever have a rupee to text back?
Why would you have KBs to reply her back?

When she's none to you -
Why would it make a difference if she lives or dies?
Why would it make a difference that she ruined her life for you?
Why would it make a difference that she misses you?
Why would it make a difference that she wants you?

Why would her goodbyes make a difference,
When she was not even, a friend for you..

I want you, I love you...
But you do not...
Ofcourse like her,
I ain't intelligent I ain't hot.

I won't pop up ever again on your screen -
I won't ever communicate with you, with my voice so not sweet...
I won't ever like your Facebook updates or retweet your tweet..

I'm going - am sure I'm going..
Bye love..
And I'll always remember that you didn't come to stop me...
And you used to say that you love me!

Irony! My life's irony...

I know when life abandoned me
When dreams and the future slipped away
When the joy and freedom died

I exactly know the time when fear called
When confusion clouded my eyes
When loath lived in my heart

I know when hope and despair united
When tears fell nightly of shame
When love is just another word

The moment when secrets are revealed
The cure of it is nowhere to be found
When I found out of my chronic illness

Men refuse to reveal their fears , death blows about soldiers grown accustomed to its wretched aroma ! Attachment fosters weakness which shines like a bright light late into the night , revealing location , drawing fire ! Exhaustion , constant battle with uncertainty from ****** , mortar or artillery ! Twenty three hours of nothing followed by an hour of Armageddon ! Choppers retrieving our dead , dropping off much needed ammunition , food and water ! Slowly going out of sight , leaving the platoon left to their own devices , the night filled with cries from the other side , men are dying in the dark tonight  , calling for their Father or Mother ..Day five on perimeter protecting a hilltop , surrounded on four sides by thick forest ! Building pill boxes , fox holes , fortifications , fields of fire and Claymore mines , checkpoints and landing zones ..Fighter jets shoot by at tree top level scattering dust and debris behind , temporarily blinding sentries on watch , bringing soldiers at rest to their knees !.A hundred and twenty days plus a wake up ! I'll never get through it , regardless if I come out dead or alive !

it was a
goodbye
that made my
capillaries
explode

it made
my heart valve
backflow

and my ribcage
crack

they say that
internal bleeding
is fatal

and i guess
i am now
a part of the
statistic
that agrees
with that

In the desert in which we burn
At the point where we could not return
That is where I will stand to pray
For a chance to live another day

As the dust swirls in the sky
We had no choice but to say goodbye
For as the sun fades beyond the dune
Darkness descends along with the rhythm of the moon

With a body shattered down to the very last bone
We knew we would never find your way home
Lost without hope, damaged beyond repair
The last of our light fades into despair

With darkness approach we bid farewell
Back to being locked away in our own prisons in which we dwell
So long my friend, for you I cry
But it was you that left me [here] to die

The winds gusted blowing that
Dam branch upon my window,

"Tap, "Tap, ".....Help,

I with hesitant breath move the
Drape, and see nothing but arched
Twigs teasing my window pain.

With relief I walk to the top of the
stairs, Hearing a knock on the door

"Tap,  "Tap, "......Help me,

I cling to the wall rising upon the spy
Hole to find only pitch darkness and
My heart relaxes its grip upon my throat.

I step upon the porch, unseen wire flaring
In the wind, like a viper encircling my throat.
I momentarily clasp the door and tap.

"Help me,

I'm picked up like a doll as the wire entailed
Upon the tree thrashes me around, higher
it pulls. And a window I tap with gasping breath.

"Help........,

I know what happens as I lapse in to
unconsciousness, was it my imagination
Or did the drape move an obscured face.

"I was my own witness to my single moment,

I swing like a leave in the wind, hanging silent.
I am the last leaf to fall, cold and dead.

Why am I so scared?
When will I be able to be who I really am?
Will I ever be accepted into society?

Why, Judas why?
Your kissed became the treachery symbol
Sold your faith but hanged yourself and die
After you returned that thirty pieces of silver

Why, Judas why?
Might you have a big crisis for money?
A sick parent or child, perhaps
To cure their pain, but ‘twas cut in the story

You returned the dazzling silver
Might they’ve never fulfilled their promise
To never hurt your master
That’s why you weep unto your best

Why, Judas why
If the tree and the rope could talk, they’ll never lie
Might you’ve kissed the image of your master in the wind
Before you bid the world goodbye


10-26-2015
Mysterious Aries

why do people cut?
because they have felt so much
so many emotions
it becomes overwhelming
they begin to feel nothing
that's when cutting begins to appeal
because they are so desperate to feel something
anything other than happiness
the easiest feeling to create is pain
it is the only way to replicate what that feeling was before the silence
so why not do it right there in front of you
where you will be constantly reminded of some sort of feeling
that same type of feeling that put you there in the first place
sort of like a drug
self harm is a drug
and babe i don't feel anything