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 Feb 2020
Lizzie
I've done some stupid things
I'll probably never forget
I've told away some secrets
I probably should have kept
I've heard some things I shouldn't
And been filled with regret.

There's no going back
I can't change the past.
 Feb 2020
Lizzie
You can't see it
But my face is washed with tears
You can't hear it
But my heart is breaking in two
You can't feel it
But I'm loosing all my strength
You don't know it
But I'm not as strong and happy as I pretend to be.

Those stains on the pillow
Are made by tears
Those drawings in that book
Are inspired by sadness
Those messes on the floor
Are made by stress
And the hate in my heart
Is made by loneliness.

They say when you're down, they only way is up
But what if this pit is bottomless?
This is the first free-verse poem I ever made. Please tell me what you think! Should I continue making free-verse, or should I stick with good old fashioned rhyme?
 Feb 2020
Lizzie
My wings once were clipped
My skin once was ripped
Presently on my chest
Only the scars are left.

The lock has been broken
The door has been opened
The chains have decayed
The rope has been frayed.

You’d think I’d fly free
But I can't - you see,
My heart is long aged
So instead I stay caged.
 Feb 2020
Lizzie
When you start something
And you never quit
When you set a goal
And you work towards it
When you have a dream
But it’s counterfeit

When you try so hard
And you still fall down
When you get back up
And you look around
So you then realize
You’re in the background

When your eyes open
And you see the lie
When you feel so hurt
And you want to cry
When you be yourself
You suddenly fly!

Who cares if they hate
So filled with critique
You make no mistakes
Because you’re unique
I wrote this about a year ago. Originally it was supposed to be a song. Probably one of my best poems so far, though my english teacher had /nothing/ good to say about it.
 Feb 2020
Lizzie
What am I doing with my life
Going nowhere with my lies
Hiding envy behind the door
Holding anger and even more

I want my friends just for me
That's no place that love could be
I count others' gifts instead
And think too much inside my head

I can't remember when I last
Had a true and honest laugh
Could be their fault, could be mine
I'm a misfit - and that's fine

I just wish I had the smarts
Or lack thereof, a social heart
To be myself without the fault
But make friends as sweet to salt
 Feb 2020
Lizzie
I hate myself so much for this

I'm in this vicious cycle, see
The current pulling under me
I feel so numb and lost at sea

Sometimes in the ebbing tide
You can hear my lonely cry
Yet all the boats that come by
Leave me there alone to die

I hate myself so much for this

Some ships seem to understand
And come close with outstretched hand
But just to feel the wind and sand

The truth is, the fault is mine
I knew the dangers of the brine
But ships beyond the shoreline
Drew me in like fishing line
Analogy for desperation on the internet and the vicious cycle of depression and loneliness that pulls people in. It's 2am but I haven't gone to bed because I feel so lonely all the time. Pretty stupid, huh?
 Feb 2020
Lizzie
I'm feeling so bitter, so ugly.
These gross feelings that torment -
        Like an addict,  I welcome them,
But reluctant, and hating every second.
  I find I cannot let go
Of the passions that I grasp.
             I'm an evil soul, inside and out.
Oh help me, God, I am so lost!
Lost in the confusing swirl
Of right and wrong and grey.
The truth is found by reason,
               But the same can justify hate.
Oh, my God, oh, my God:
I beg for all the things to *****
And out, out, to go and free -
Give me liberty from this plague
      Which is me.
 Feb 2020
Lizzie
It's not Your fault; You're just the epitome,
The manifestation of this society,
Or maybe the race as a whole -
From start to end, You played this role.

After all, was not Noah the sole fool
Who loved the Lord and became His tool?
And the sinful world around him jeered -
Lonesome Noah was thought quite weird.

You represent all my social trauma,
My insecurities and highschool drama.
You have everything I want to be.
I lie in chains but you are free.

Socrates, too, was condemned by You,
Killed with poison for the truth he knew.
You said it was for the good, but no,
It was Your pride that acted so.

You're popular, sporty, pretty, small.
I'm lonely, artsy, ugly, tall.
You do bad things and the teachers love you.
I do my best and... nothing.

Jesus was rejected by his own kind,
The Jews who had once been blind.
They mocked Him who deserved their praise,
Thanked His mercy with a wooden raise.

You're showy, bratty, loud, and cruel.
I'm nervous, friendly, quiet, a fool.
Wherever you go, you find friends.
I act like you and my hole deepens.

No, I'm not Noah nor Socrates,
Not Jesus or who else you please,
But I'm in a similar boat as they.
Tears and pain wash me today.

All the pain I feel inside my heart
Is worsened when You play Your part.
You're like all the others, but I chose
The model as the cause of my woe.
A jealous person tries to justify their hatred of someone with more popularity than them.
 Feb 2020
Lizzie
I don't effing know what's wrong -
My brain's a mess just like this song;
I sing to the beat and I play this game,
Will I always be the effing same?

I don't like the person I pretend to be,
But **** truth is, I don't even know me,
Changed and shaped by all around
(Without them, I'd be heaven-bound).

Or would I be in hell with Satan?
Cause unless I am mistaken,
My soul is twisted, my heart is cracked.
I just need an effing smack!

These evil thoughts that plague my mind
Take the truth and mix in lies.
I'd take a sponge and scrub them raw,
Remove every thought, but naw,

I'm cursed to live in indecision,
Going on without precision,
Wondering do I have a mission,
Cracking in my heart this fission!

What the eff is wrong with me?
I keep on hoping to believe
That who's saying all this ****
Is only me, and that's it.

— The End —