What am I doing with my life
Going nowhere with my lies
Hiding envy behind the door
Holding anger and even more

I want my friends just for me
That's no place that love could be
I count others' gifts instead
And think too much inside my head

I can't remember when I last
Had a true and honest laugh
Could be their fault, could be mine
I'm a misfit - and that's fine

I just wish I had the smarts
Or lack thereof, a social heart
To be myself without the fault
But make friends as sweet to salt

I hate myself so much for this

I'm in this vicious cycle, see
The current pulling under me
I feel so numb and lost at sea

Sometimes in the ebbing tide
You can hear my lonely cry
Yet all the boats that come by
Leave me there alone to die

I hate myself so much for this

Some ships seem to understand
And come close with outstretched hand
But just to feel the wind and sand

The truth is, the fault is mine
I knew the dangers of the brine
But ships beyond the shoreline
Drew me in like fishing line

I'm feeling so bitter, so ugly.
These gross feelings that torment -
        Like an addict,  I welcome them,
But reluctant, and hating every second.
  I find I cannot let go
Of the passions that I grasp.
             I'm an evil soul, inside and out.
Oh help me, God, I am so lost!
Lost in the confusing swirl
Of right and wrong and grey.
The truth is found by reason,
               But the same can justify hate.
Oh, my God, oh, my God:
I beg for all the things to *****
And out, out, to go and free -
Give me liberty from this plague
      Which is me.

It's not Your fault; You're just the epitome,
The manifestation of this society,
Or maybe the race as a whole -
From start to end, You played this role.

After all, was not Noah the sole fool
Who loved the Lord and became His tool?
And the sinful world around him jeered -
Lonesome Noah was thought quite weird.

You represent all my social trauma,
My insecurities and highschool drama.
You have everything I want to be.
I lie in chains but you are free.

Socrates, too, was condemned by You,
Killed with poison for the truth he knew.
You said it was for the good, but no,
It was Your pride that acted so.

You're popular, sporty, pretty, small.
I'm lonely, artsy, ugly, tall.
You do bad things and the teachers love you.
I do my best and... nothing.

Jesus was rejected by his own kind,
The Jews who had once been blind.
They mocked Him who deserved their praise,
Thanked His mercy with a wooden raise.

You're showy, bratty, loud, and cruel.
I'm nervous, friendly, quiet, a fool.
Wherever you go, you find friends.
I act like you and my hole deepens.

No, I'm not Noah nor Socrates,
Not Jesus or who else you please,
But I'm in a similar boat as they.
Tears and pain wash me today.

All the pain I feel inside my heart
Is worsened when You play Your part.
You're like all the others, but I chose
The model as the cause of my woe.