When I first began
I was a human

I learned to fit in
And became a reflection

I started to fall
Now I'm a shadow

I see the ground coming up fast
Soon I'll be just *nothing

he was your favorite poet
he touched you with all your favorite quotes
he held you with the perfect rhymes

but darling, you were just his outlet
you were just another poem that he wrote
words that he scribbled just to past the time

I just want...
To look in the mirror
And not be disgusted

I just want...
To use my voice
Without telling a lie

I just want...
To wake up each morning
And not regret it

I just want...
To sleep at night
Without the nightmares

I just want...
To be able to think
And not want to cry

I just want...
To smile again
Without being fake

I just want...
To look at my wrist
And not see blood

I just want...
To live
For once in my life

*Is that too much to ask?

Whence comes thy ill? Thy brooding bitter pill
Ploughed deep in fertile soil, sprouting to seed
Snake-like tendrils crawling to sprawl and spill,
Choking lush verdant fields with poisoned ****;
Wilted young peaches, withered pears dying,
Irises blinded, red chrysanthemums
Faded to white, strewn petals borne on sighing
Dark fitful clouds rend'ring the landscape numb;
Oh bitter pill, thy loathsome poisoned thrill
Afflicts one tainted by unsated need
To wilt and wither, blinded, faded, ill
Craving for thee with hollowed hateful greed;
    Sweet bitter pill, thou will be coveted
    Till once ripe lush and verdant fields lay dead.

there stood the plaintiff
her eyes were filled with grief
she struggled to speak
too tired, too weak

o, believe me
judge and jury
hear out my plea
hear out my story
that man is a criminal!
he is worse than an animal!

he is guilty of robbery
he stole my heart with the threat of leaving me

he is guilty of fraud
a sly scoundrel we must all applaud
he is the master of fabrication
he has an outstanding skill in deception
he fed me with all the ******* he devised
with the most convincing lines and perfect lies

that man is a killer
he is guilty of ******
he did not use any weapon
but his words are poison
more lethal than a gun
more damage done
it did not pierced my skin but it crushed my soul
left my heart with a sempiternal hole
it was worse than the sharpest knife
i may still breathe but believe me, he took my life

and so came the lawyer
he stood for the defendant's answer*

he is not guilty of robbery
you gave your heart willingly
knowingly and voluntarily

he is not guilty of any form of deception
you were a fool from your own volition
you chose to believe
you were willing to be deceived
you knew the lies he always say
but you believed it anyway

this was neither a case of ******
it was not the fault of your lover
it was suicide
for you had the power to decide
you could just walk away
but you always chose to stay
you had the power
to leave your lover
to find another
you knew better
you are aware of love's diabolical scheme
you are a willing victim

o, believe me
judge and jury
won't you take my side?
isn't it love is a form of suicide?

"Are you okay?"
You ask

"Well define 'okay'"
I answer

My heart is beating
Granted, too fast

My blood is flowing
I just checked

My brain is functioning
I'm thinking too much

My stomach is active
It's angry for me not eating

My lungs are moving
I'm just out of breath

Beyond physically?
No I'm definitely not okay