There once was a fella from France
Who'd dance a libidinous dance:
     He'd focus the eyes
     Of the club on his thighs,
Then dance himself out of his pants.

There once was a gal from Zumbrota
(A city in Minnemesota)
     Who drank in a bar
     And then got in her car
And crashed it while smoking some mota.

There once was a gal named Alvina,
A registered nurse at a gyne-
     cological practice
     Who brought in a cactus
That jumped on a naked ******.

There once was a **** head named Seth
Who smoked a whole kilo of ****
     And proceeded to beat off
     And beat all his meat off
And methed himself finally to death.

There once was a man from Green Bay
Who made it a habit each day
     To ****** an udder
     And churn his own butter,
Then go for a nap in the hay.

There once was a man from Pawtucket
Who'd eat a whole 18-piece bucket
     Of KFC chicken
     (His fingers a-lickin')
And as for the soda, he'd **** it.

There once was a sneezer named Rose
Who'd sneeze to the tips of her toes.
    She once sneezed so heinous
    She puked out her ****
And blew out her brains through her nose.

There once was a man from Nantucket
          Named Pym:
          That one lim
          Eric?k is about him.
                                                   **** it!

There was an Old Man of Japan
Whose lim-er-icks never would scan.
     When they said, "What the fu?"
     He replied, "They're haiku!"
That Irish Old Man of Japan.