I just seeketh
For mine queen to be happy;
To be smiling and laughing
Lord, I beseech thee, to taketh her pain's, stick them on me.


©Brandon nagley
©Earl Jane nagley dedication
©Lonesome poet's poetry

You came along in an unexpected time
With you, everything feels right
You do things just to make me happy
You were the stars that shine so bright
On my darkest night
But when the sun comes out,
You are nowhere to be found

You left before I could say goodbye
You left me wondering why
Why do you have to make me feel special
If it won't last forever anyway?
Why do I have to meet you?
Are you still coming back for me?
I wish I knew
*
You will never be forgotten
You will always be my favorite question mark

I wonder if you think about me.
The way you hand fed my heart
while I mended yours
piece by piece.
The way I held you
against my body when there was
nothing in your head but
death and doubt.
The way I’d smirk when
your jokes fell flat because you’d always
laugh through the punchline.

I wonder what makes you laugh now.
Is it still me?

The way I swallowed my tongue
while you shoved lies down my throat?
The way I held on to you
while you found pleasure in another?
The way the corners of my lips would
tighten as you set me up to be your next
perfectly orchestrated joke?

Because I think of you.
And am torn.
Piece by piece.

if you knew about the deep wells inside me -

the holes where people used to fit

the house-shaped dent where home once was,

you would leave me be

truthfully, i don’t know if there’s a cure for people like me

i don’t know if a get a happy ending

and i’m wondering if i’m supposed to feel this way forever

or if one day it will tip over and spill out of me, unconquered

i live every day not really knowing

if the next time you see my body, it will be cold and pale

so let me curl up in my bones and hide

there is no room for you in me

I came in like a storm.
Your violent wind carried me through.
Leaving pieces of myself floating in the air.

Staying steady with the beat in your chest.
My back holding your chest together.
As we pushed and pulled into each other.
I was afraid if I didn't stay still your heart would fall out.

Your forehead resting on the back of my neck.
Arms were around me but I was holding you.
The whole world was held down by that steady beat.

We are martyrs for the beauty in death itself.
We can count the many ways we can end the pain.
Fantasize about it.
We are victims to our hunger to destroy and create at the same time.
As we push and pull into each other.
Tug at our tender seams.
We make that hunger tangible.
We stroke the flesh of the monster inside both of us.

I cant tell you the amount of times
Ive cried for you and drowned
in my tears and regrets

I cant tell you the amount of times
Ive dreamt of you and woken up
missing you more than I ever have

I cant tell you the amount of times
Ive looked for you at the bottom of a bottle just to realize I lost you forever

We were a bud
Awaiting the growth
Of something beautiful

You forgot that
To grow
You need sustenance
And care

And so we died

Before we even
Had the chance
To truly begin

i like the way he stutters when he gives his presentation
nitrogen is the 7th element he says, then warms up a smile
and shies away

i like the way he sits back down, giving a sigh and another grin to me
you did a great job i say, he shakes his head, and whispers,
barely

i like the way he looks at me when i'm drawing
he laughs and says it could be better
but i tell him this is the best

i like the way he opens the door for me
there's a crowd behind my back
but he leaves it
and it slams into their faces
oops he grins

i like the way he texts me good morning with a smiley and two hearts
exactly at 6:55am everyday
and so i text him back approximately five minutes after
with three hearts and a good morning

i like the way he drives his car
we're on a date
my treat this time he says to me
it's a date? i ask and he nods slowly, not hiding his smile

i like the way he asks me to be his girlfriend
it's kinda formal and it makes me laugh
but i say yes because i've been waiting
* so so * long

i like the way we spend our one year anniversary together...
it's quite not like the others
we eat cake and give chocolate to his neighbor
you're generous he smiles, and i shake my head

i don't quite like the way he doesn't text me at 6:55am
it's strange
it's abnormal
and i don't like it at all
he doesn't say anything to me.

not a single word

i don't like the way we don't eat lunch together anymore
something's changing
something's wrong

i don't like the way i tell him we're over
i don't want to do it
but i think it's the best

i don't like the way he shrugs and says
it's time anyways
he says it in the voice where someone will say
it's time to sleep, honey

i don't like the way avery, my dear friend
tells me you did a great job
barely i think, but outside i thank her

i don't like the way rina, my best best friend
tells me he's not the best for you
and i tell her honestly he is the best

i don't like the way this ended
but i do like the way it started
and let me tell you something
honestly-

i don't like the way
i still love him.

Stop making me fall for you
Please don't, unless you're willing to catch me
Stop making me smile every time I talk to you
I look like a weird creep laughing to myself
Stop making me feel butterflies in my stomach
It feels ticklish but empty, knowing you don't feel the same way
Stop taking me to all these beautiful places I've never been
I don't want to start thinking that maybe I'm special
Stop making me wonder how it feels like being warmly wrapped around your arms
I'm fine without it and I would like to believe that "...the cold never bothered me anyway"
Stop making me sound so poetic
It's frustrating how all my poems end up being about you
Stop making me think that you might like me
I don't want to start hoping that it's true
Stop appearing in my dreams every night
I don't like waking up wishing I would just stay asleep
Stop making me like you more and more everyday
I will find it hard to let go even if you weren't even mine in the first place
Most of all, stop making me fall for you
I can't afford having my heart even more broken than it already is
And you're responsible for it but I still foolishly fall hard for you anyway