I aspire to inspire
Before I *expire

I was your Hazel Grace
Because I thought I was a grenade

I was in my final year in high school when I started liking you
And soon I would leave the same school we were into

I, and the people around us
We became dependent of your actions
And you made us believe that you liked me, too

So much depends upon this boy I really liked
behind his eye glasses were his eyes that had
always been sending me love letters
that I always wanted to reciprocate
his stunning smile made him look grand every time

So much depends upon this rebel heart
that I was ironically obedient to
Because not granting what this heart wanted
would **** me a hundred times

Until the day came that I needed to leave you
I thought leaving would hurt harder than a heart break
But you were the one who left
And that was when I started believing
that I was not the grenade I once thought I would be
but it was you

*You left me wounded

so many desperate hearts
they are only looking for love
she fell in love with a hawk
she thought he was a dove

Loss of you
Has left me blue
Filled with hate
My loves abate
To find another
My one desire
To fill the space
Unfillable
Forever empty
Without you here

~~~

Is zero a number?
Is numb a feeling?
Is comatose slumber?
Is sleep now healing?

Is why a question?
Is try a verb?
When you can't shake
The ***** and herb?

Is static music?
Is silence screaming?
Is nighttime cursed...

is daytime dreaming?


SoulSurvivor
Rewrite (c) 5/12/2015
Written 2014

i made my password
your name
on this stupid website
where poetry is posted.
i wanted to write about you,
but i realized the words you said to me
do not qualify as love,
but lightning in a quiet dream.
this soon becomes a nightmare
and you're still the starring role

Zero percent, care free Lima bean. I feel fine, listening to the kooks, & a **** between my knees.

She took my hand and escorted me to this cliff
Drawn by the words I loved you and I wish you were here
She was the late night whispers in my ear
But just before he words held value she disappeared
She wanted me to die for her
Loving her was like cutting my veins
The bleeding constant like a stream
She clutched an empty pill bottle
Drowning me in water hoping I OD
Often she was there when I was sleep
With a pillow glued to her hands
I want you bad It's suffocating
Like a plastic bag
She introduced me to misery and we became close friends
But love always stuck by my side
Poking me in the back with a stick
Hoping I'd fall off the cliff
And even though she tries to **** me
Her failed suicidal attempts keep me

Say something
Like you use to
Stop me from leaving, I'm about too
You use to have me speechless
Had my breath in your hand
But you let it slip through your fingers like sand
Can't tell you your losing me
So I wrote this for you
Hoping to give you a clue
As to why I'm so cold
Maybe loving me was to much If a taboo
Say something
The silence jabs at me
Have something to say
Spray your words on me like graffiti
Drench me in your words like rain
Let me know your still down
The doors wide open and your watching me leaving
Stop me from being swept away in the breeze
Even now
You don't have something to say

I have decided this day not to give a
crap about the machinations of others
whose notions concern me just as much
as I care
about falling down stairs or
running into walls
or hurting myself
on purpose, which itself deviates
dramatically
day by day.

Not a single word can be forgiven                                                                          If it means abuse to others ...                                                                                   Our pretty words must be like                                                                                Our pretty flowers which we pick them                                                                To our loved-ones anytime ...                                                                                  If we don't watch what we say ,then                                                                      Harsh criticism will be available ...                                                                         Our words must match our deeds or                                                                      Others will look at us disdainfully anytime ...                                                        ___________________­_