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  Nov 2017 I was your Hazel Grace
i watch you
fall at the feet
of those
who will never
know your name

im here
im real
i love you
and you
are distracted
There is no forgetting you
But there is letting you go
"Thank you."*

I whispered to the universe,
As you pulled me into your chest tighter while you were fast asleep.
I've heard a lot about heart break being at 3am, insomniac nights filled with silently sobbing into pillows and when sleep finally comes, it is only greeted with stabs of loneliness when the cold realization floods in that you are waking up alone.

But they forget to mention that it happens walking down the middle of the sidewalk at 2pm when you're supposed to meet a friend for coffee and you see a face that's a distorted version of his because your heart is so desperate for him that it starts to try to find him in strangers.

They don't tell you that it happens six months later when you're starting to feel good again and you accidentally hear that he's dating someone new and it sends you spiraling down into the crushing weight that he doesn't love you anymore and suddenly you're not eating again and the man who works at the liquor store makes a comment about your drinking habits.

No one talks about it happening when you start falling in love with someone else and you're sorting through your computer and stumble across the album of pictures of him that you haven't looked at since the breakup a year ago and you think you're strong enough to see his face and you realize how desperately you loved him but it still wasn't enough for him to stay.

People fail to say that it happens at your best moments when you are so full of life and love and joy that all that can radiate from your smile is the strength that conquered demons and you see all the beauty that is around you and you remember the person that you always wanted to share this moment with has decided he wants nothing to do with you anymore.
When going though
old photographs
you will
come across someone that
you used to love
You can't help but
look into their
big brown eyes
and fall in love
all over again.
If only for a moment
you will  remember how they once
made you feel.
We all need to be a bit more like the first picture taken

Raw, unfiltered, and all our flaws are showing
They all called karma a *****
But she's a saint compared to timing
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