What happens when.
You wake up.
And forget everything.
You have no sense of who you are.
People tell you who are.
Tell you people you should know.
But you dont...
What happens when you relive every thing.
Is it all happening then?
Or is it a memory.
Is this pain from now?
Or is it from the past?
Is this hurt and pain and want and urge of death.
From now?
Is this unbareable craving of pain, the want to cut youself.
How do you know.
Whats recent and from the past..
What happens when you lose all control.
What happens when you want to die.
What happens when your in so much pain.
No one can see they need to let you go..
No one but one knows your pain.
One person, has the same pain.
What happens when you lose all want to live..
Why is everyone blind.
I am in to much pain to go on?
You wake up clueless of who you are.
Just knowing, every little memory re living it.
No one knows how bad you want to end.
No one knows the pain.
Of reliving ever little time ive been *****.
Of reliving the death of the person you loved.
Of reliving your molestation.
reliving watching your daughter die.
Reliving your hell.
No one knows...
No ones knows the pain..
What happens when you love the pain of the blood falling down your wrist again.
What happens when you want to give up?
Are you gonna be forced to live a life.
To fake your hell is not killing you already.
To fake you have a soul.
I lost my lit up heart it died with the ashes.

You are cursed with a never ending life.
Some would love this.
But why love a life.
When your accused of killing.
Your accused of a ****** you simply didnt do.
When your taken from every great thing.
When your sole purpose is to watch the people you love die.
When you watch people like casey
Blame themself.
for deaths.
death the didnt have anything to do with.
When you know they didnt.
They dont know they **** you more.
The pain from others.
**** every hope you have of a soul.
J lee died.
And the one thing i loved more than life.
Blames him own self.
A death destroyed him.
1
Not 47.
Ive seen 47.
How destroyed must i be?
Does anyone know my pain?
Do they?
No.
No one has lived my life.
Everyone would die in my shoes.
I cry.
But think how the hell strong i am.
To even consider loving you all enough to stay.
So next time you doubt me.
Think of that.
Think of why the hell i'd stay for something i hated.
If i am alive.
In a life i cant wait to ******* end..
-love

The deepest ocean,
Waves in motion.
The deepest secrets
The more you keep it,
The deepest cut,
Happens when the door is shut.
The deepest night,
Is when you can't sleep right.
The deepest hour,
Is when I start to cower.
The deepest fear,
Is when I disappear
The deepes mind,
Always finds.
The deepest heart,
Is torn apart

I have gone through the pain those whom are close know.
I have endured it all.
Theres those whom pity me or my life.
I ask for no pity of those.
Nor sadness.
I only ask as of eyes upon my passion.
My life.
It is not one to say its well.
Its not quite easy but ive dealt.
I may have broken but i musnt say im no queen.
I may feel deep pain from a time, A time called the past.
I've learned.
My past is not to consume whom I am.
My past is a story.
Its my pain i hold yes.
It still hurts me to the present day.
I've come to know my pain dearly well.
But i've turned pain.
Death defying pain into wisdom and strength.
Ive become the queen i was.
I've only became stronger through the time being.
Pain kills but also heals.

-Lovey

"Pettiness, and jealousy, go together.

But, there is not a place for it here on HP. We write what we wish, what we feel, how we feel; about our lives, loves, adventures; our spirituality; we write because it's a beautiful hobby for many of us, and not to begin a competition as to who can do better.
There are so many on this site whose talent I so admire since I joined the site 2 years ago. Because of this nonsense, we recently lost a great writer and friend, whom I will miss terribly. Those that participate in the pettiness, jealousy, hatred, and discontent, are in a minority. Hopefully, the other contributors, writers, poets, essayists, old and new alike, also realize this. Let us not give up our seats on this "Poet's Train!"

copyright: richard riddle-August 18, 2015

I drew ace nine as hold cards
So, as the raises increased at
two hundred dollar increments
I did not mind
I put it in

Then someone went all-in
and
suddenly my hold cards
became
very weak
and I folded

Now lets apply this strategy to the
current situation
Here in the USA

We are in several wars right now that
have bankrupted us
That is what wars do
"war is used to create debt"  ezra pound

World Wars cost us
Korea cost us
'Nam cost us
even the wars that were secret cost us

But, just because we spent trillions of dollars
Does not mean we have to spend trillions more

Loud obnoxious
Annoying t.v.

He is almost two years
Past 63

Relax, or read

Just do something please
Besides fall asleep in front
Of that stupid t.v.

(He won't though)

One day I want to live in an apartment
Or home
Without a t.v.

Its ok to sit and cry at times. But dont sit there to long.
You have to get up and move on with your life.
Or its a matter of time till you fall and all you are is tears.
If somebody wants to walk out of your life let them,
Especially if you tried to be the best you could be,and you've done everything. If they still  want to walk away then learn its their loss not yours.
Half the people you are going to be sitting crying,and being depressed over are you going to even remember their name in 3 years?
Some people will come into your life for a life time.
Some come for a season.
You have to know what is what.
People get married to people their only supposed to there to teach you one lesson then wonder why you have so many problems in the marriage.
Then they wonder why  they can not find piece anywhere
Because people are misplacing the people whom are only supposed to come into your life to be there for a short while not an entire lifetime and it will mess the things up.
Think of a tree
You've got your leaves that fall off when the season changes.
Thats fine.
Theres a lot of people in the world who are like that.
Some people are like branches on the tree.
But once you step on your own.
They break and fall off the tree.
But once you find those few people who are the roots of your tree thats when your special.
Cause those are the people who are going no where.
Once you get your roots  you good.
Once you do let the rest go
Dont just throw people away.
If you tell the person the thing thats wrong and they try to fix it keep them.
But if they keep doing something that keeps hurting you thats a person who doesnt care you have to let them go no matter the pain.
You have to learn how to be on your own then how are you gonna learn to be with someone else.
You have your time to work on yourself.
Till the world puts someone for you to love.
-mickie rouxe-

I need a light.
some kinda of way to tell me ill get out my darkness.
That things get better.
I need some way to know im not stuck forever.
I need a way to know im not insane.
I need a way to stop my tears.
I need a way not to break.
I need something to show me i wont be broken forever.
I need that something now.
I need something to fix me.
I need something to help me out of this.
I just need something to make me feel safe.
I just need me back.
I lost who i am.
I dont know who i am anymore.
I just need some way to make me ok again, Before i cry again forever.
I just need something to block my tears.
I just need anything to make me whole.
I just need the one thing that can show me i can stop crying.
I just need simple happiness.
For once.
Its all i want and need..-mickie-