And now the
Sweetest voice
Is a whisper of an echo
Of a memory.
And pictures fade,
Muted colours of shame.
And the mind
Plays ***** tricks.
And the heart
Drowns in silent tears.

Sort of like a phantom limb
I can feel her
Even though I know she's gone

Sort of like the summer wind

Sort of like an old best friend
I haven't seen
In way too long

She's sort of like a phantom limb
The pain of loss
I deal with again and again

The pain of loss
Knowing I can never win

I bestowed to you my heart

You ****** it dry
Left me to die

Then ripped it out and threw it away

While I gasped at my soul
As it oozed out that hole

I realized I was dying

I clutched hold of it and gripped
But between my fingers it slipped

In despair I watched it rise, then linger

Then it glanced back at me
That’s when, I ceased to be

Now I’m in an ambivalency

Am I really dead
Or just my world instead
BOEMS BY JA 484

You are like a spider.
Hide in small places.
I got stuck in your web.
Leaves no traces.
As I try to escape.
I feel myself getting weaker.
Don't want to give in.
Into your poison of sin.
Secuded on soft satin.
Crawling under my skin.
The world feels
so much better.
As I'm writing you
this letter.

Man from the couch
Looking for me
Shrinking my presence
Wishing I could flee

No place to hide
Hearing his footsteps
Looking for pleasure
In the form of ***

There’s a horrible monster
Outside my door
Always circling
Coming back for more

A haunting game
Of procrastination
Every slight noise probes
My ears with vibration

Peeking out the
Side of my eye
As the doorknob turns slowly
Inching open - I die

His mouth opens wider
Releasing shadows of fear
Dripping his venom
Whispers I barely hear

My littlest brother asleep
On the top bunk.
This man has no shame
As he shows me his junk.

I inquire after my mother
He's roaming towards me.
He murmurs his shhh!
"We can not wake her."

My head is spinning
As he denies my plea
He's just come to expect
He can steal this from me

The smell of burnt plastic
Wanders around him
I'm feeling cryptic
As my light starts to dim

He lies heavy on top
Of my tiny frame
It's become automatic
Like writing my name

Clumps in my throat
Prevent me from gulping
I can’t seem to inhale
His body hammering

I close my eyes so I can sail
Back to my unconscious
Disconnecting this moment
In my black empty space

© Jl 2016
© Pixievic 2016

Wishing to see you everyday,  
With every breath, with every blink,  
Sit by your side if that's okay ,
Fill your cup and we have a drink,  

To see you, to hug that's all I wish,  
You belong here in my heart,
Your picture on my brain,  
It's a masterpiece of art,  
Doubtless I am but in vain,  
Thinking you will love me back the same way again.

I was so normal before we met,  
A normal person but a sad one,  
Your presence brought happiness,  
But before I knew it you were gone,  

I was sad then happy then sad,
When you left did I look glad ?
Like a cycle I was sad again,
Hence on my eyes it started to rain,

I looked in my sky,  
No stars no moon,  
You never said goodbye,  
aren't you coming back soon?  

The nights went dark,  
The days turned cold,
My life lost spark,  
Our pictures turned old,  

I sit alone thinking of you ,
Reviewing pictures of me and you,
A look at you enough to be blue,  
I want to find you, but I have no clue.

©2015 AROODY