I
Miss
Him
With
Every
Stroke

Growing up
She was considered bad
But she only wanted what the other kids had
Crazy night and hazy days
She wanted to party the "worldly" way
She wanted to live the forbidden life
So she snuck out at the dead of night
And experience life for time it seemed
Did things her friends wouldn't believe
She had to come back the next day
But now the girl had changed
You can say her eyes were open
And life wouldn't be the same
People tried to straighten her out
But the damage was done, there was no going back
She now lives life as she pleases
And has no one to appease
One day she may return
But even then the girl has learned
She has grown, she has flourished
From her past life that seemed so malnourished
Once she returns she will be shamed
But who care
For this naughty girl can not be tamed

Ive been sitting here for two hours looking for the moon 
But its gone, just like i will be soon

I am a victim of verbal, mental, and physical abuse
And no matter how hard i try
My scars seems to out shine my smile

I don't try to be negative
I really don't
But when you've experienced the pain i felt
You assume the worst

I take the blame because it's usually my fault
I am the one common denominator
In all the things that I've lost

I ask "are you mad?"
Because its a natural reaction
I tend to bring it out
In those with a mutual attraction

I need constent verification 
That i am wanted
Yes, its annoying and it bugs me too
But if you want me tell me
It's my diseases salvation

I get frustrated because im bipolor
I cry because im depressed
I'm sure you regret meeting
This hot *** mess

Ive been used and abused
So i assumed you'll do it too
I'm truly sorry for my assumption
I never ment to judge you

If you've moved on
I truly understand
A man like you
Should be in better hand

All i want to do is add to your happiness
Make you like Texas
Because thats where we met

And...

Give you what you want
Whatever that may be
When you find out, tell me
I'll be sure to deliver with 100% guarantee

But i am sorry
For what? I dont know
I feel like I annoy you
But  who knows

I've ran out of words
And the henny is kicking in
I probably shouldn't drive
But **** it! We all die in the end✌

It's embarrassing to tell you how I really feel
It is scary to open up
I fear rejection and abandonment
I usually keep my feelings all locked up
But recently you made me crack
And I let my feelings known
I gave you 10 reasons why
I need to keep you close
So to keep the embarrassment going
I'll give you 10 more
10 more reason why
You're the man I choose

Its your voice I want to hear
Your text I want to read
Your lips I want to kiss
Your cheeks I want to touch
Your hand I want to hold
Your eyes I want to see
Your arm I want a hug
Your face I want to see
Your bed I want to lay
and your body next to me

There are one hundred billion galaxies in our universe
500 solar systems in our galaxy
9 planets in our solar system
7 continents on our planet
3 countries on our continent
50 states in our country
3,100 cities in this states (Texas)
150,460 people in our city
And over 7 billion people in the world
But some how
Some way
I have managed to feel all alone
Alone in my thoughts
Alone in my dreams
Alone in the spaces in between
Alone around town
Even when people are around
I am pathetically alone
Mentally, Spiritually, Emotionally, and Physically
So I surround my self with new people
But for every new person I meet
And for every new friends I make
I feel
More
And more
Alone