Cjf - Hello Poetry

Cjf Dec 2016

two undeserving people
a tornado & a hurricane
what's worse?
he's the type to throw his emotions
from Oklahoma
to Kansas
through concrete
and trees
and not feel a thing
she's a mess
everywhere and nowhere
chaotic
she doesn't care who or what she destroys
it's game on who can last the longest
who can take the most people
so high
or
so low
and who can **** them first
who is worse?

#poetry #i #poems #idk #guess #***

Cjf Dec 2016

i was drunk when i wrote this

I didnt wanna tell you I was drunk
I didnt want to crush anything much less the heart of yours you let me see
it really is a beautiful gift to have
it is a repeated cycle of loneliness and saddness
why is you who always has the key out of it
you with your set voice that could melt snow on a the coldest of days
but I was drunk
and I am lonely
and sad
and here you are
and im falling again
falling where I shouldn't be
I am not yours
I promise i won't or can't ever be
it's hard to not talk to you
I just wanna excite you dude
like you do me
I wanna treat you like you treat me
but it seems to be mixed all the time
and I can't stand you
but you do things that make me smile
you remember
your *** doesn't let me talk though
like someone else I can name
is there something wrong with me
why does no one want to listen
idk
I need to forget again.
**** the *******.

July 3rd 2016

#drunk #alcohol #oh #well #**** #poems #poetry #l4l

Cjf Dec 2016

july

playing with fire
as the saying goes
but you're not fire
at least not metaphorically anymore
you're the ocean
changing which way you decide to go & flipping it
around because you dont want to go that way anymore
you're so calm
but the waves take over you

you can have my wrapped around your finger
wrapped so tight that it hurts
hurts to do anything but become your slave
this ocean has me in it's depth
i can't even put up a fight
I'm no match against you
and you know it
how weak I am for you
you say the right things do the right things
and i can't help love what's killing me
so beautiful when youre calm
so breathtaking when youre at ease
slowly waving back and forth in a picture so serene
but the Tsunamis are quiet in the midst of their forming
I'm scared of you
you already destroyed me once
but you come back
those words always get me
you always get me
I'm a ******* slave for you
so pathetic
it's not even a game anymore
it's who can fall before they can't get back up
my bets are for the girl who can't swim
the girl who rides the waves rather then controls them
who goes under rather than surfs
she's weak

#metophors #poems #food #hamburgers #poetry #love #lovers #you #him #july

Cjf Dec 2016

6:32 am

but baby I can be something you need

I'm blind and the liquid fire that goes down my throat taste better than any kiss I've ever had
or maybe it just taste better than the bitterness
I want your lips
I crave you
I want see the Sun for the first time

I can feel you but I can't see you

but how is it that you make me feel
electric eccentric ecstatic
how do you light flames so bright I still can see them even when my eyes are closed
the ocean doesn't have a fighting chance against the wildfire you started within me

mend me into a cup so when you drink you think of me

you bring wildflowers into my dull forest green grass
I've never seen peonies and sunflowers
and daisys and hyrdrogenias
look so in peace
and you make my heart beat in time in what seems like forever
I could smell these flowers even after they died
and the Sun decided she was done with them
but I never cared much for flowers

when you leave idc what I'm remembered for I just want to be remembered*

if you go like the moon says good bye to his morning star
then please remember the way it felt at 21 to still believe some things would come back
and the Sun would say hello to her moon
before he left
trace the feel of your lips the way they form into smile
and remember the pattern
we're not ever getting 18 back
and I'll write you sweet nothings
on napkins I'll leave in a diner
where we once got ice cream

#morning #coffee #young #love #goodbyes #why #**** #food #poems #poetrt

Cjf Dec 2016

August 5th 2016

you told me of stars shooting across the skies in bright burst

but you never told me about the kind of stars that plummet into the earths atmosphere

you never described the gravitational pull towards something that goes beyond description

maybe it isn't that simple maybe a catastrophe is meant to happen in order for something beautiful to exist

but ******* you're a ******* asteroid in my sky of shooting stars

you lit up this colorful earth with technicolors of your own making

I always knew coloring in the lines wasn't for you

maybe this is a poem about how you snuck your way into my body or better yet drilled a hole into my heart where you plummeted into at full speed and force

maybe it isn't a poem about love
maybe its a poem about how much I hate the person in my skin

and I never told you out of place I felt in my own skin and the words you say make me wanna tear myself out of mine and into yours

and you make me wanna commit sins and write them across the hell written skies

you make me wanna forget my name and only scream yours into the night

you're an astroid that got pulled into my sirens call of angst and desperation

you answered my call and idk what to do when I'm done with you

but **** if it doesn't hurt not talking to you
it doesn't hurt like a ***** knowing that I see the best of you and still take it for granted
it doesn't **** me inside and twist everything in horrifying ways knowing I want more from you
I want to lie you the **** down
I want to kiss you and never come up for air
I want to make sure you never forget my mark stained indigo and red on your neck
I want to scratch my name into your back with passion in the lines of every letter

*I want you

and that's the difference between us babe
I don't need you to breathe
to feel
I only want you
but ****
**** if this is more than I aimed for
**** if breaking your heart doesn't tear mine out with yours

I need you too.

#i #hate #you #stars #universe #gravity #skies #poems #poem #poetry

Cjf Dec 2016

i stopped loving you 2 years ago

i loved you. i loved you as naive people love when they believe heart's aren't made of glass & aren't meant to break. i loved you like a child would love something new they discovered & possesed you as one would possess a toy. I guess that's what happens when a punk rock boy with steady hands & raven black hair steals an innocent 15 year old girls heart.

but heart's break they burn they catch fire & they mold into something new. but even three years later molded casings are meant to break & maybe that's how you managed to creep & lock yourself into my new heart & it's foreign to you & to me. but your hands aren't steady & your heart is as unstable as a bridge that hasn't been crossed in years & maybe its a chance to cross it not knowing what lies at the bottom, but you make me feel so willing to cross it.

I've loved you. loved you with more than my entire being & I've told you what kind of hell it was to believe that you didn't care, but you did & i know I gave up to easily but i needed love. I needed a physical love,a few blocks apart, not 100 miles apart. I was selfish & I've never seen anything more beautifully heartbreaking than you with tears in your eyes begging me to stay & i was caught between my heart or my body & I chose my selfish needs & my heart was broken for months & i missed you & needed you to fix it. & I could never paint or write or sing about the way your eyes looked the last time I was brave enough to look into them; & I don't believe anyone could ever replicate anything so forlornly blue.

you're heart isn't a toy. & love isn't a game. we're both going blind in this gamble. i want to be yours for the night & maybe more & you with your words that paint dreams make it as tempting as pandoras box & I'm almost as willing to open it all. we're both betting high, too high, & I don't want you falling into vices & I don't want to lose you. it's always been a fight for who would win out & I don't want to lose. i don't. you made a home in my heart & my heart has molded it's way around you in perfect unison & yes it missed a couple of beats but they we're beats screaming your name & yearning for your acceptance & yes it stops when I believe you see me for who I really am & who I could be. I don't want you too.

I couldn't go anywhere if i tried, darling.

July 5th 2016

but your hands arent steady anymore

#ex #time #memories #getting #over #old #poems #poem

Cjf Oct 2014

Yeah.

This darkness comes & goes
Silently & quietly
I think its gone & instead pretend im happy
Cause he makes me happy
But not even my sunshine can outshine this inevitable dark.
whatever.

#kyle