embody my heart
and call it your art
I'll show you another view
maybe a different you
one you never knew

It’s 12:50
I’m falling asleep
loving deep, a bystander
to a subtle hearts critiques.

what love- bursting at the seams,
his manic eyes
translated the tendencies.
I look to the sky
and your resentments move like tides
how we will deny, and never ask why
the capsize or joyride
of an unruly sense of pride.
your mission to suicide
or the fear I felt as you died
the clouds became my guide
as I tried to make you stay inside.
you can decide
a flame will burn and we’ll collide.

the sign says “beware”
and toxic air is everywhere.
nightmares want you to become more aware
so it must be fair
that you aren’t the one who gets to feel their glare.
it must be easier for you to say “take care”
than to actually be there.

you and I
in the same space and time
is just undignified
my heart denied
dug up
glorified
you shut the door
and locked me outside
a sudden way to learn
the notion of goodbye

mistaken as civil,
but I am just still.
I am just sitting.
perfectly,
remarkably still.

a new dimension,
as warms tones welcome the cold air.
I watch the maple trees morph
simply,
they will shake off their dead weight
becoming bare
exposing their branches for a bitter winter.
firmly rooted,
safe and sound.

in your own world
repainting the walls
dying your hair
combatting the urge to make it all fall.
how I could make you see
this isn’t a limited belief
silent
your expectations of me

intentions go back and forth
I love you,
I love you nots.
this moment
alone,
we are silent.
a seat on my porch
and a chance to miss you so.
give in,
then release.
my memory labeled false,
just a kiss-
to feel a pulse
here,
in this moment,
who is going to be at fault?

nothing
dark
light
someplace different
which would it be?
courage
to conquer what’s inside my head
wasted youth bled into what’s up ahead
I’m probably just going to go to bed,
afraid of every thought
I wish to shed.

we lived that October sunset.
shifting our mindsets
and pressing the reset,
you are the hug and kiss I'll never forget.
as free as the breeze,
a love that could cross seven seas
when you’re with me
it will flow purely with ease.
crunching the leaves
and picking apples off of the trees
what our mind perceives,
is truly guaranteed.  
we walked up the road
along the yellow line,
here,
I know that everything will be just fine.
this story-line is no crime,
it’ll be clear in a dime.
but for now,
I love you,
the raddest dad of all time.

imperfect
is perfect
this reflection grows worthless
you can’t stay in place
with a mirror to your face
misplaced
in an attempt to erase.

betrayal is a dance
discouraged,
yet you still take my hand
to a melody misunderstood,
the rhythm becomes lost
within the loneliest liar
lying safe tonight

every guilt trip you’ve hung above my head is what keeps me slouching.
the words pile out of your mouth
my heart won’t slow down,
I'm melting into my bedroom floor,
but adrenaline makes me want to turn around.
your hands grace the railing
as the screen door hinges shut
long gone,
forever wishing that pit in my stomach would have been enough.

when I am far away
looking to outer space
the nicotine inside your pocket goes to waste
an aesthetic is all that we chase
so deny yourself another memory
my dear, familiar face.

love is a breath
coveting my chest,
I know that love is like breathing-
nonetheless til death.
if love is like breathing
I don’t know what comes next.

You are hell-bent,
nostalgic of the stitch in my stomach
and the simple repetition of my words.
A different season,
the same fears,
unknown intentions.
A lovers kiss feels like your drunken mistakes.
Fight-or-flight
perfectly masked underneath sarcasm and closed eyes.