It was one of those nights that instead of feeling as bright
as all the other stars that had been pin-pricked into the sky,

I felt more like the blackened blue stretch behind them
because tonight,
I just flickered out of existence.

There are moments in life where I can feel my foot fall right into
my own footprint.

One foot after another, following fate's path, the exact way I was meant to go.

Then there are days that I make my own path
With brand new tracks
Like clean sand washed flat by the waves
And maybe I am veering off

But I know I'll get back to the moment where I can feel myself be in the right place I'm meant to be.

We are being crazy and reckless
But only cause we're young

You've got that coy smile
I've got the fire in my lungs

If we are movin' too fast then the world better catch up
Cause I'm runnin' with my heart baby
I'll win the World Cup

Love doesn't have a rule book
And it's harder when you're hooked

Grip my hand and grip it tight
Cause the world will see us
And know we're ready for a fight

We are crazy and reckless
Probably cause we're young
And we have that fire burnin',
Fire burnin' in our lungs

Self Love.

A plant inside of us all that we have to constantly remember to water

And grow with.

I am a mess piled on top of a mess piled onto more mess..

If you want the perfect analogy for what kind of person I'll be in your life just think of that pile of laundry you push aside on your bed every night . . .

I am the dim star that twinkles
hoping that you'd make a wish on me.

I am the flickering light bulb that
just needs a lil tightening.

I am the coals on the fire hearth
Waiting for you to give me breath.

Yet they walk on by,
Not realizing
I'd make their wishes come true,
I'd light up an entire room,
I'd give them warmth when they are cold.

I am the things that make you feel not so alone.

Leaves shake in the wind

As the rain pours on the forest floor below.

Water droplets soak the ground for growth.

Giving birth to new life

After storms and strife.

A fresh beginning, made from recent revision.

Sun parts through the clouds.

There's no more division.

A warm light now glows, giving view to a divine vision.

My soul now in remission.

It is time to make a very important decision.

To hold on, or go forth on the Hero's expedition.

Don the armour, be brave and bold.

Or stay back, let not the story be told.

To deny my heart, may leave me cold.

False stories I shall not be sold.

Behold, the guiding light, fire of my soul;
And through my example
Change how destiny unfolds.

I am stuck inside the skeleton
Of what we call our home
Trying to mend these brittle bones
But they will crumble nonetheless
From all the pollution
We have consumed.

Rotting flesh and a weak heartbeat
Kiss the lips of the skulls teeth
Say goodbye to our dying world.

Blow the candles
Make merry wishes
Don't matter
Soon comes farewell kisses
School crammed down like medicine
Or you can work everyday
Which is worse in comparison?
Don't matter
Either way you're losin' that money
Hope you can keep a roof and your ride.
Poor kid, oh honey,
Ain't anywhere for you to hide.
No one told you this is what you were signin' up for
Life of work, Life of chores.
Now you're in
And there ain't a way out.
Here drink this alcohol
It'll help without a doubt.
It's how the rest of us cope
Maybe add a lil' dope.
Ask yourself how in the hell
Did your parents even get a house?
When you're over here
Fishin' out the quarters from your couch.
You lay your head down to go to bed
Dreading the time the sun peeks through the window
Gotta go back to work,
With depression following you like your shadow.
Oh you wanna cry?
Dear child, I couldn't fathom why.
This is just how life works.
Maybe you need to go to church.
Oh yes, God will help
He ain't even there
But delusions are nice
When you're not in the best of health.
Just be patient, keep waitin.

Clutching, grasping, reaching, grabbing,
Tear, Seize, Rip, Claw, and sink yours hands
Into whatever you can
To make it feel like you're alive
And that you're not quite ready
To close those pretty little eyes.
Grab whatever you can
Life's a ****** ******' mess
Find something you can sink your teeth into
Cause as everybody says,
This is just the way to success.

That constant desire to escape is the air I breathe,
Flowing down my throat,
A waterfall of despair turning into pools that fill my lungs.

Trickling until I am overfilled,
Vomiting the fear and choking on it.
Swallowing with a burn so fierce I'd rather not take another inhale.

I try to dive in pretending that the water is relaxing,
but really I am just sinking instead of swimming.
My mind an anchor.

My thoughts are seeping out of my pores, creating blood in the water attracting more and more sharks that circle and . . .
circle.

Fleshy pieces floating away.
Biting off parts of me one at a time.
Doesn't matter,

I was gonna drown anyway.

I realized that maybe people think that when you write about pain and misery it's beautiful
Because it's relatable.

We all know pain,
So it's beautiful because you know you're not alone.
They say it in a way,
You never thought was possible.
We thought it was a secret that we would just keep to ourselves,
But really,
Pain is no secret.

I picked up a bottle
With a liquid that burned like fire.
I looked at the label
And there it said Desire.

It burned up my insides
And torched my heart.

To this day I still have a scorched tongue
And words turn to ash.
But my heart still aflame
Feels more than anyone cares to ask.

It seems I still don't have enough spark
Or even enough heat
To make something more in life
Than just ends meet.

I drank from a bottle of liquid fire
And the directions said,
You gotta reach higher.

When were your lyrics written into mine
And why...
Do they sound so good?

Like rain pattering off rooftops,
Or the powerful silence when the sun rises and you hear faintly
Birds singing.

You match me so well
That I finally realized
My souls song was never complete
Before you.

Our songwriter
Finally had made their masterpiece
And our notes will dance together
Making perfect harmony.

Our song will play on
For eternity
Until our hearts
Just decide to stop beating.

And the clouds looked like pink tinted ash on top of a blue fading sky.

The stars slowly showing one by one
Like slowly opening eyes.

Waiting because there is no company
Like the moon,
Listening and never questioning why.

They spoke with silence
And in the night, time just passed them by.

I almost don't even remember you..
I keep going back to try but
You feel like a dream.

One where the memory is fading
Like when you try to hold on as
You wake up
But it's slowly disappearing
As the morning sunrise shines through the window..

Sometimes I just want to fall back asleep
To make it continue.
Other times, I'm glad it's just black.

I just want to be the remnants of who I used to be.
Turned dark and devilish,
The thing that goes bump in the night,
Because I'm so sick of being the fairy in the forest.
The dainty flower you're worried you'll step on.
*******.
I have thorns.
I have horns
And this demon is ready to play.

If there is anything so far in this world that I truly understand,
It is that of soul misery.

The kind that leaves you feeling hollow or empty,
An ache that is so subtle
You're not sure if there is a pain.

The kind of misery that comes from the hearts of gold
And a soul
That knows there's so much more than this.

The pure innocents who love the world around them,
And cry and break
To watch it be as cruel as it is sometimes.

If there's anything I've learned from
Stepping into adulthood,
It would be that.

She buried herself deep within the dirt. Coming back, pushing past surface, like a sprout catching sun for the first time.

Break through.
Tap in.

Her tears were sweet instead of salty.
Watering all that could be,

And all the while inside the quiet of the Earth's womb,  she thought,
"Thy will be done."

I hope one day I can glide my hand across the pages of my story and confidently say as I close the book,
"It was a good read."

I am somewhere out there in the sun when it is setting,
Waiting for the stars;
Or I am there as it is rising,
Waiting for the colors to burst in the sky.
I am most in love with this world
When it is asleep.

I didn't realize how much I missed the sounds of a busy road.
Cars rushing past,
Swish, swish,
Swish, swish.

It was comforting to listen to as I slept,
Like how others enjoy the pitter patter of rain.
Might just be preferred childhood habits,
Who knows?

I think I missed feeling closer to home too.
Even though I was so sure I could always live without them,
Maybe..
I was wrong.

They were full of expectation,
Harsh opinions that sometimes stabbed like knives when they came out,
And they didn't ever really see the way I'd wince at the papercuts.
The subtle sting left afterwards.

Yet, I needed them like they preached their need for me and I guess I can say...
I
Love
Them.

Sometimes blood isn't always thicker than water
But water is a simple drink that passes through you,
And blood,  
Stays.
Blood runs in your veins.

Pitter patter.
The sand like rain falling down.
Trapped in an hourglass
Without a sound.

I'm slowly dying,
I'm gonna drown.

Panic.
Please calm down.

Why me?
More and more comes in
It's up to my knees.

How much more time are you gonna waste?
What will you do when it's up to your waist?

I look around for help but there's none to be found.
Oh no, it's almost up to my face.

I pound on the glass, I pound and I pound.
This isn't how I imagined the taste.
Why is no one around?!

This is what happens when you procrastinate.

Close my eyes and shut my mouth.
It's over my head.

Just a little more time. Please wait!
And now,
It's just a little too late.

Settle down little thoughts,
You have troubled me through another night.

You ran around endlessly screaming gibberish,
Worried about the next day we have to struggle through.

Like little children tugging on my brain
Poking, prodding,
Peeking around corners waiting to show themselves.
Laughing and playing innocently but I can't help but feel
mocked.

I am sick of playing hide and... surprise!
I am exhausted and you all are tearing down the only home you have to live in little by little.

My mind is turning to pebbles and dust
But the thoughts
just
won't
stop.

I will carry love like the most precious trinkets in my pockets
and I  will wear my soul on my sleeve every day like I always have.

Why am I so **** hard to swallow?
Again and again repeat
"You're just too strong."
What does that even mean?
Like black coffee?
You just have to acquire the taste...?

Do I have to dilute myself with heavy cream?
Will I be bearable then?

I am ineffable
and you'll choke a little every time you realize
I don't always have enough sugar.

When she looked in the night sky

She wasn't just staring at the stars.

Her eyes dived into something more

Searching for the depth of it all.

Let me wrap my legs around the dandelion seed,
Soar on a wish,
And know that I'm free

Silence can spread cracks through my heart.
Loneliness like the pressure on broken glass until it finally breaks.
There is no solution for this kind of ache.

My mind blank and my chest slowly heavying,
I stare at a bright white screen
Looking for my remedy.

Look at the candle,
The wick,
A beautiful skeleton
Covered in wax.
A flame burning in it's chest.

It burns and burns... Yet,
In the end nothing's left.

Except maybe, the scent.

I suppose my dreams will burn so much that they will reduce me to ashes,
And trust me,
The smell it leaves behind
Will not be pleasant.

Sometimes poets say the things that have lived in me so long but never found the words to leave.

I sit here wondering if sometimes
You just have to accept someone else's words
Instead of struggling to find your own.