i don't want you back,
but sometimes your name tumbles out when i'm searching for words

i don't want you back,
but sometimes i think of you and it hurts

i don't want you back,
i know we can't be

i don't want you back,
but i want to know you're happy

i don't want you back,
but i don't want you to hurt

no, i don't want you back,
but i don't want you with her

I can't truly be with you
Unless I leave out of the blue

We are the sun and the moon
One dies,
To let the other one arise

We are night and day
One sleeps,
To let the other one play

I can never truly be with you,
Unless I leave,
out of the blue

I wear a jacket almost ever day
To hide the little bit
Of my stomach poking out
I notice flat tummies
So I cross my arms over mine

I usually put my hair in my face
So people won't notice my dorky glasses
Sometimes I try to go without them
But its hard to see and read things

I wear a lot of makeup
As an attempt to hide the imperfections of my face
I don't like going without it because
I feel people always stare

I know everyone has things
They don't like about themselves
And you may think differently
But if you try and tell me
I end up not believing you
I think you're just lying to me
So I'll feel better about myself

It wasn't a mistake,
pushing you away.
My hands worked for me
As my eyes watched my fingers
Let go.

It wasn't a mistake,
running away.
My mind continued
to use as much force as I could
into my muscles to distance myself from you.

It wasn't a mistake,
the way I felt.
With a heart of broken fiber
And with hands of pressured veins,
I found the will to push you away.

It wasn't a mistake.

true loneliness
is not the result of an empty body
                              no
true loneliness
is the result of a full body;
a body that's about to explode
                              and when it does,
true loneliness*
is what's felt when you realize you have
no one to pick up the pieces.

as i glanced
from the
top of the
hill and there
there, i stood
asking the Lord
is this real
to witness
this great
abundance
here on earth
a providence sunset
and there
there i stood