Another song
Begins to
Catch that
Dancing beat, which
Excites the minds and
Feelings of all around.

Groups and single people
Huddle around, waiting to
Ignite a battle,
Joyful and merry, they bounce
Knowing the outcome could
Limit their times together.

Many cheer,
Nobody is silent or still.
Outsiders slide around,
Prancing to get a look,
Questions are flying from all faces.

Rainfall, the
Situation becomes
Tricky.
Uninvited, the police
Visit the scene,
Wanting no need for
X-rays on attendees.
Yellowy bruises run,
Zigzagging the thrill of the chase.

I see the leaves need raking,
But your willingness is flaking.
You wouldn't take anything I say, even advice.
I really wanted it to help, keep it concise.

It isn't fair that my heart is breaking.
I try to clear the air of the tension you're creating.
A humidity so thick no knife could slice,
Your face, like our love, as cold as ice.

In the pain of trying for you, very inch of me is aching,
I don't want to wake up shaking.
Am I just a sacrifice?
I'm just waiting for the end of this gamble. Please, roll your dice.

You were always there for me, giving me the chance to shine.
It was a personal thing, we'd always win.
But you're not here anymore, and I don't know where we're at.
My heart beats for you now.
You alone can make me want and need at once.

Each day I live for you.
Every night I love you more.
With each sunrise I still miss you.
But every sunset, I adore.

I don't want to sing, if you're not singing with me.
I don't want to dance if you're not dancing back.
I don't want to move, if you're not moving too.
I don't want to die, because I know you won't be with me.

Even if you'll be waiting, I don't want to know the truth.
But I can never be too certain, after you left this earth so still.
How I can, how I will,
Live in my world without you.
But I love you more and more.

Every moment I think.
Every tear I cry.
Every inch I move.
Every day I live.
Every hope that died.
I hope you know I did it for you.
I hope you know I do it for you.

I didn't cry. I couldn't.
I thought I was being strong. Crying isn't weakness though.
I thought I was doing it for the family. I wasn't helping nor hindering anyone.
I made myself ill out of pride. You were diseased.
Cancer victims don't suffer alone. Their loved ones suffer with them.
We don't suffer with pain, no. We suffer with the anxiety of the wish for health or relief.
Never knowing what would come. Always on tenterhooks.
That's just the way life works. Until you left.
Now you've left us. To suffer without you is almost harder.
It's not the death that's tough. It's the living that comes after.
In simple terms, there are three stages. For us watching the victims.
The first. Living a nearly normal life, nothing's wrong.
The second. Accepting the cancer and learning to live with you in pain.
The third. Living without you.
Cancer is mean. Cancer is selfish.
Cancer kills without a cause. Cancer.

I see the moon is reflecting on the sun's work.
It's not glowing like it usually is.
The clouds shadow any shimmer that was.
Tomorrow is almost today.
Another dalliance from you, another heartbreak.
Maybe you'll stop one day.
Maybe you won't.

The temperature rises with the sun.
It leaves a sticky sweat in the air, uncomfortable.
An undeniable blinding at first glance.
Tomorrow is today.
Things haven't changed, except the people.
Circumstances remain, as isolated as could ever be.
You just don't have the effort to care anymore. For anyone. Not even yourself.

Your delicate shell gently halved, not splintering in between.
That egg was your life, now you can spread your wings.
Putting it like that, it sounds nice, doesn't it?
Billy, it isn't that simple.
You'll learn, you'll fall.
You may find times where you wish for a hawk.
But I see you every morning, Billy.
Well, I did.

It's been a while, Billy.
What happened?
I went away for a bit, out of no fault but my mind.
It wasn't good.
I came to find you, but you weren't there.
Maybe you were on holiday.
But Billy, it's been a long time.
I don't know what to do anymore.

Time moves on, Billy.
There are days when I think I see you, you vanish quickly.
Those days are rare, I cherish the moments.
I think about you all the time.
The looks we shared every day.
The unfinished conversations we have.
We'll meet again, Billy.
We'll be reunited for a final eternity.

I miss you sometimes, when I can feel.
Don't forget me, Billy.
You were my true happiness, Billy.
You took that with you too.

This one's different.
I don't have a plan.
I suppose you could say this is like my feelings, real life.
You can't plan everything, even if you try.
You constantly learn, in many ways.
Through your mistakes.
Through helping and teaching others.
Through being you and living life.
I'm not saying you have to love it, or live it well.
Who judges whether you're living life 'well'?
Surely if you're living you're doing something right?
I wish I had the answers.
It would be nice to know what to do.
But right now I don't.
A lack of inspiration? Possibly.
A lack if you? Probably.
Life isn't simple, though we try.
With our charts and graphs and proof of goodness, well I think that's where we're wrong.
Why do we need to prove the goodness? Why not the bad, the unfortunate?

This may be a ramble, and sure, I'm not perfect.
I am living.
I am human.
I am me.
And that matters.