when i feel your gaze rest upon me
a weight is lifted from my heart
and another is placed upon my throat.
for when you (who is perfect)
and i (who is ******)
join eyes like the mixing of mud and
water
you steal my words and tear out my voice
imprison me within your sight
and i comply.
for it is you (who is perfect)
and i (who is ******)

ten days i will spend
asking for forgiveness
praying for redemption
getting down upon my bones
and whimpering at your feet.

please
kick me while i'm down.
to feel the snap of your toe
against my ribcage
is better than nothing at all.

first nature is sadness and
second nature is you.
once the second nature dies
the first nature returns.
primary being.
where I am sad.

you came as a habit that stuck
you left like a part of me being ripped away
return second nature
come back

please?

on your knees to pray
for purity, forgiveness
no one will listen.

you fit into me.
and i fit into you.
where we slid into place.
was something I never thought we'd do.

since we breathed as one.
where we slid into place.
how your weight fell on my chest.
how your hand stroked my waist.

the way you pressed in closer.
how your weight fell on my chest.
when your eyelids heavied.
while your hand brushed my breast.

we layed as one.
the world fell silent.

you are like the desert.
you hide beauty beneath layers
and layers
and layers
of dullness.

you cower from the world.  
hot in the sun but cool at night.
you contain more life than one could ever imagine

your chest forms the sand dunes
your arms are carved from stone

i could get lost in you
my desert

i don't believe in religion.
but if you believe that jesus
was resurrected.
that eve was created in
adam's image.
that moses parted the red sea.

that a woman cannot love a woman
without sinning.

then i will not bother you
with my love.

does that make me a sin?
or a temptation?

you say that religion is a blessing.
but for me

it's a ******* curse.