There's a method to this game I've developed in my head
In how I glance over to you
The sly smile that possesses my lips
There's a method that I've developed to get you in my bed
Our lips meet in intervals short and few
Close proximity allows for the grind of my hips
There's a method to the way I've protected myself from the feelings I dread
In the way that I fake the "i love you"
Your body heat numbs me as my heart rips
There's a method I've developed for this soul that's dead

Imagine terrestrial worlds never formed
Raw material never collided and bound
Silicate refusing to help form Earth's crust
If climate never favored life on this planet
My heart would never have surrendered
Imagine a world where I didn't miss you
If we never would have existed here
The vacancy of your side of the bed
Wouldn't weigh me down as much

If your love was never meant to reside in the depths of my soul
Then what has all of this been for?

Sometimes I stand in the exact same places
Where my heart was broken
And I relive those moments as I stand there
Feeling every bit of pain again
I just breathe and stop and smile
Because those exact places
And those exact heartbreaks
Led me to find myself
Sometimes I stand in the exact same places
Where my heart was broken
And I smile

To Love,
You've made me humble
With every ounce you fill me with
Because of you I stumble
While I incessantly search for more of you
I'm left here to tremble
Without your presence it's so cold
Sincerely,
Your biggest admirer

If I could restructure this pain
To make it look beautiful
I'd spend an eternity doing so

Love is my nemesis
Shape shifts into another
Leaves me battered and frail
I try to fight but why bother
Love will always prevail
I enjoy all forms of this
Let us rise and hail
My persistent nemesis

I tried consoling the universe when it heard of your woes
But instead it filled space with raging black holes
 
I tried convincing the stars to illuminate your path
But instead they dimmed, in fear of your wrath

I tried asking Saturn to bring you joy by gifting you a ring
But instead it refused, knowing that happiness to you it wouldn't bring

I tried consoling the universe when it heard of your woes
But instead we cried because for us, your love no longer grows

She will cry often and alone
Failure is inevitable
Pretending her heart is of stone
She will cry often and alone
To feeling loved she is not prone
Beauty so impeccable
She will cry often and alone
Failure is inevitable

It's unexplainable
The hurt I feel
The hole that formed
Or the pain that rose
Can someone save me
From me
My thoughts
My fears
My miseries
I need to need
I want to sleep
Or just to forget
Forget I am me
And you are you
Forget the world turns
That the pain envelops
Wraps me up
Nice and cozy
Pain is addicting
Sadness is numbing
Day not in sight
It can't be too late
Seek me
Love me
Save me
God please send me
Help

My heart skips a beat at the sound of your heavenly moan
As my lips attach to the particular spot on your neck that I own

Your warm breath, tinged on my ear through our conversation
Causing in the pit of my stomach, a deep and fluterry sensation

The rhythm of our bodies set by the rise and fall of your breathing
In this moment, an immense amount of love for you I am feeling

Oh the sweet scent of your being clouded my senses as i breathe you in deep
It all felt so real, it aroused me from my sleep

The cold that seeped from reality, the warmth of my dream it broke
Regreting the moment I ever awoke

With your white silky sheets, my face I cover
Squeeze my eyes shut, in hopes that the dream I may recover
And regain the presence of the only one who will ever truly matter

I can't stop it
I can't bear it
The monster comes to knock
I can't feel it
I can't shake it
The monster leaves me in shell shock
I want to think it
I want to write it
The moster watches me like a hawk
**** you writers block

If *** was the answer to all of my pain
Your lips on my skin I'd never refrain
If *** was the answer to all of my pain
Your every touch would drive me insane
If *** was the answer to all of my pain
I'd get lost in your body again and again
If *** was the answer to all of my pain
The beast inside me you'd never restrain
If *** was the answer to all of my pain
The swirl of darkness would cease in my brain

I try to remember how the trail looked the day we took the long way up Griffith Park
But I can't and it hurts
I try to remember the movie we watched every Thursday night and why it was so intriguing
But I can't and it hurts
I try to remember how the apartment looked when you began packing
But I can't and it hurts
I try to remember the design of the door that I focused on for hours after you left
But I can't and it hurts
It hurts
Because all I can remember is the smile that caressed your lips after you whispered 'I love you'
But that hurts too
Because all I can remember is the journey of the lines etched on the palms of your hands in the dark
But that hurts too
Because all I can remember is the exact shade of your eyes as the tears streamed mercilessly down your cheeks before you closed the door
But that hurts too
I fall back in my seat and try to regret all the things I missed in this world while I stared at you
But I can't and that hurts the most

I stopped at a desolate fork in the road
My feet felt heavy, burdened by shoes
Took them off and winced at torrid asphalt

I walked until i felt the weight of things untold
Looked up at the sun in search of clues
Guilt consumed me because it was all my fault

To close my eyes and dream of space
Narrowed vision of open eternity
Stars and planets surround brightened space
All I see is darkness and its eternity
To close my eyes and ignore my space
A clear escape from all this eternity
Sufficated to know of this space
To have misery in vast eternity