i feel sick,
but not in a way that can be

easily understood

i don't necessarily feel nauseous
but i can taste bile
in the back of my mouth

i don't have a headache, per se
but my head feels so heavy, and light

it's dizzying

disorienting

and sometimes i feel more alseep
than awake

and words lodge themselves
in my throat
as if to suffocate

and i cannot

hope

to

string them
together
for

the life

of
me

i feel sick,
but i'm not
am i?

h.f.m.

They'll think I'm crazy for this,
But I'm certain they already do
You're not here yet,
But I'm confident someday in the future
The world sure is gonna welcome you

You'll be bright
A shining star
With a head full of curls
Always setting the bar

You'll be kind
Looking out for others
With a smile
Patient, like a Southerner

You'll be humble
A skilled listener
With arms open
For any visitor

You'll be witty
Eliciting laughter from many
With joy as your purpose
And remarkably friendly

You'll be loving
Deeply, so deeply
With a heart
Crafted ever uniquely

You're not here yet,
But someday we'll meet
For now, you'll remain in my heart
As I count its beats

Until I witness these words
Of all that you'll be
I know of their truth
Because you'll inherit them from me

© JL Smith

I've a thing with darkness
It holds me in its grasp
Reaching out to touch me deep
Cutting chippings from the rasp
Whittling to its root
Healthy stem is left to shoot
Raw edges growing into hedges
A border
Leading
to
the
dawn

I’d rather write than speak
My pen is always responsive
My ink doesn’t judge my mistakes
My paper doesn’t argue
My lines never cross me
My sentences never disappoint
And my words will never leave me

I need to talk to You.
it's been so long, why won't You text me?
why do You never text me first?
I feel like I'm losing You.
do You still love me?
I think I still love You.
it's hard to tell when You won't talk to me.

what have You been up to?
done anything fun?
all I've been doing is crying... I can pretend it's not over You.
if that makes You feel better.
I mean... it nothing, really.
anything for You.
We used to have fun, didn't We?
We couldn't stop laughing.
all the time, even at 2 in the morning.
it's been a while.

haha check out this video, and please please text me back this time.
I hate that I need this much validation.
I hate how much I need from You.
and how much You never give.
am I too needy? cause that's fair.

I'm sorry.
what did I do?
was it even anything?

can You just humor me and tell me every tiny detail of your day.
I want to know everything, don't leave a single thing out.
no matter how insignificant it may seem.

do You still love me?
You said You thought We would last a long time.
please
please
please
I love You
I love that freckle on your cheek and even your 4 day stubble.
I miss You
i miss seeing your face and feeling you hold me.
I need You
i need your kisses and the hugs i forced from you.
I want You
i want everything back, just like it used to be oh 7 months ago.
please come back
please
tell me how much you love, miss, need and want
me

please give me my heart back
i think i gave it to you too soon

We are all touch but no desire
For in each other's arms
We are blissful
With no wish, no requirement
To take it further.
We make love without making love
My base lusts sated
In the caress of your long limbs
Your hair soft in my fingers
Lips brushing cheeks and hands
And we entwine in each other
At home in the scent of warm skin.
A deeper love than I ever knew
We are inside of each other
Without secrets or falsehoods
Our souls naked
To our perceptive eyes.
We are utterly beautiful
In our private universe
Born of night and long drives
And words.

don't tell me you love me
not like that
if you truly knew me
you'd know that
i'll never say it back