the stars, hanging like cheerful christmas lights,
suddenly dim until they melt into the night.
i want to ask you
what you think about this,
but you have also faded into the darkness.
why is it that when we are so close,
we are still light-years apart?

"i want to take you to the space station,"
you said with your signature silly smile.
i laughed alongside you and
imagined how well your fingers would
fit into mine.
the thought alone
sent me beyond the stars.

summer sun and bone chilling ice pops
have nothing on the rollercoaster that you are
and ive wanted nothing more than to
hang on as tight as i can
from the stomach dropping incline to the
furious rolling of the car down its tracks
that initial piercing scream as gravity conducts its magic
and the sensation of free falling through its loops and turns
but equally those quiet moments where
the ride slows to a gentle suspension
theres nothing i want more than to
feel those things with you even when
the ride ends
and we have to hold each others sweaty hands
wandering through crowds of amusement tourists in the middle of july

june oh june
i'll just steal those lips of yours away someday.
i'll go mad in the summer heat i swear,
we'll eat ice pops in the grass on a clear day
and watch the sun melt into the horizon
and i'll steal those lips of yours away someday,
i swear on my life

i’m always Howling for more out of life. (these secret thoughts
never leave the ends of my lips but now flow from the
end of my pencil so smoothly)
i’m Howling for more time in the day because i can’t
grasp enough of it to satisfy the blank pages in my journals
and my sketchbooks and my sheet music but i must always accommodate
for my shortcomings in math class
i’m Howling for a wink of sleep and i worry sometimes
that my thoughts are as jumbled up in my writing as in my mind
because i deny them rest
i’m Howling for love seriously all kinds of it
unfiltered and clumsy first date love
or subtle and persistent friendship
or the comfort of a tightly-knit family i'm serious
i’m Howling for something real
you see all my days have begun to smear into indistinguishable hues
all the beautiful flowers bloom the same and wilt the same
there’s nothing different; i’m Howling for a change of pace.
something exciting, something peaceful.
something relaxing, something enthralling.
something normal and spontaneous, confined by
nobody and always Howling for more

i let my mind rest on the idea of you
and a four hour car ride became four minutes
it lingered on the sound of your voice
and the shape of your smile
and the rim of your glasses
and wondered if you lingered
even a little bit,
on the idea of me
or if i’m just imagining us both
humming on the same pitch
i dont really know you well
i can count the words we’ve exchanged on my fingers
and you always said the first ones
i know half the things i’ve thought of you
might not even be somewhat true
there’s only so much i knew and the rest
i’m pretty sure i just construed
so hey,
if you don’t mind,
tell me the little things about you…
rather than an idea, i’d like it if you were
a reality

i cut my hair off once
i used to feel the ends tickle my back
but then i ran my fingers through my hair and
reached my shoulders.
i held my head higher and stood taller.
see
there's a saying that when you cut your hair short
you get a new beginning.
once those frayed ends are let loose,
a new life opens its doors for the new you.
but i didn't see a new door so
i cut it again and
now its too short for my liking.
and i hold the door shut.
i guess i have to grow it out again before
i try anything else with it.