that spring i had to leave
before the lilac trees bloomed.

the hills of peace slowly changed
to the streets washed with bleach.

empty mountain dew bottles
on the pavement
took the place of the grass.

this city was never going to grow
because people were always so upset
about days with rain.

three weeks in
i caught myself wondering.

wondering if:

if the color of the lilac i left was
as purple as a healing bruise?

if i climbed their tower blocks
could i see the other side?

if the time were to stop
would that still be called eternity?

then a lifeless object rang
and reminded me
to get back to my new life.

the imagine of the budded trees
slowly erased from my mind.

last week, a black car
appeared out of nowhere
while i was riding my bike
on a busy street.
the headlights burnt my eyes
and my fingers clung to
the handle bar.

i think i died once then.
i passed the initiation.
now, it is time to risk.

this thing with two wheels
is everything i own.
New York is 200 miles away.
i am going to ride the bike
that once brought me to death
to the most golden
point.

because
on the moon
there are no rules
and breathtaking views.

resting my head
on the cold window sill,
i stare somewhere far,
beyond the sky,
then take a long look
at the sun
with my bare eyes.

too much light,
too much warmth,
can hurt a lonely person.
but i can't stop dancing
to your songs,
i can't look down anymore when
i see your electric eyes.

all the roads lead to you
and i truly want them to;
because i see
the heaven,
the sky
in your pretty eyes
and i know that
you can change me
but i can't change you.

i have not touched the edge.
i have not fallen that deep,
then i have not felt like flying
and i have not fooled myself
that i will land on my feet
and be as innocent as once.
nor have i melted on the ground
but crying because it hurts
when risk and hope colide.
still injured i have not smiled,
so proud that i fell fearless
even my fragile heart
broke into small pices.

yeah, i have not done this
i will just keep waiting.

my world is blue
and if you kiss me
i will **** you too.

roses dry faster
in my sweaty hands;
outside is storm
and my window is
wide open.

so get in the car
and drive down
to the wild sea;
lose yourself there,
lose yourself
at the place
i lost my sanity.

i don't need people.
the sun embraces me
everyday,
the salty waves
greet me at nights,
and the stars
dance beside me
with their disco light.

i find myself in
this quiet,honest,wild
world,
where every bird's song
and every wind blow
is playing in the
background.

nothing hurts me,
everything is just as it is.

When I look at you,
I don’t see darkness
I don’t see rain
I don’t see pain

When I speak to you,
I don’t feel sadness
I don’t feel neglect
You always show respect

When I think of you,
It gives me strength
Because you’re so bright
My brightest light

When I dream of you,
I find myself in your arms
Right where I belong
Right where I feel strong

When I fell in love with you,
I knew it was true
Because you drowned my sorrows
And now I can see tomorrow