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i remember crying
i remember painting on my skin
i remember my arms bleeding
i remember a grabbing a rope and dying
i remember the pain that you  left  *me
 Jan 2015 silas
PrttyBrd
the clock chimes
but no one counts
the days move at will
forward, backward
days stand still
the ticking of seconds
lost in the minutia
of the everyday
endless mind chatter
and negative self-talk
heart in a vacuum of speculation
what if -
coulda, shoulda, woulda
WILL NOT
DO NOT
STAY IN THIS PLACE
strain to listen
can you hear it
it's there
in the undercurrent of life
lost beyond yourself
tick tock
a shadow of a sound
tick tock
time never stops
tick tock
feel the minutes turn to days
a sense of time thrown away
on nothing
it's easy
so much easier
to wonder
what if -
why me -
than to take a deep breath
and realize
the world does not revolve
around a solitary soul
and no one is ever
the reason someone makes a choice
choices are made of free will
or they aren't choices at all
good or bad
tick tock
tick tock
tick tock
can you feel it
tick tock
tick tock
tick tock
it's the minutes of life
left behind
in a cloud of never was
tick tock
the clock chimes
but no one counts
the days move at will
forward, backward
days stand still
11915
spoken word
 Jan 2015 silas
Nina
I'm going to throw up I'm going to faint I'm going to hit the floor and let the blood pound pound pound in my head like a ******* drum like the one that our good friend Chris plays.
And I'm going to cry and I'm going to scream and I'm going to tear out my skin and my eyes will burn red like a sunrise like the sunrise we watched that morning when I gave you everything.
I'm going to hit the wall with my fists and yell and yell until my throat is raw and "why did I fall so ******* deep oh my gosh HOW WAS I SO STUPID SO. *******. Stupid."
I can't even type because my hands are shaking and my head is pounding and my chest is heaving and I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up.
this is possibly the realest thing I've ever written
Excuse me sir, but
"Heartbreak" isn't metaphor
It's physical pain.
 Jan 2015 silas
Ashley Nicole
I didn't say no, but my silence
Didn't say yes.
*******.
 Jan 2015 silas
OnwardFlame
Fluidity with skin aching towards the moon
Marks left behind on my young aching back
Continue to take their time to--
Dissolve.
I could adorn and paint my body
Just like the rose, I always wished to be.

You get a good chuckle with me
And recognize that in all my poems about you
I do a direct address: "You"
I think you could keep up with me
Lets be that weird couple at the expensive restaurant
That discusses the elaborate idiosyncrasies behind the world
While holding hands
I will leave you something behind, with my smell.
Because I could really fall for you.

A halting breath, a silly moment
You eat it up
Eat me up
When I behave just like a child.
But my bedroom voice,
You love the best.

Throw in the broccoli, the orzo, and lemon juice
I'll make myself a porcelain doll soup--
Just for you.


You told me I just bang my poetry out
As if I am writing a text
How amazing it is to you.
I think its amazing, how you make me feel
In a crowded room
And I see all the blurry faces in the background
Shadowed bodies, with the blurry faces of my past
As I always have
But I think with you
And leaping like a ballerina after my dreams
I could be....well
Very very happy, sir.

I don't want you to go
But I also know adventure does not end here
I don't think there is a finish line
But you won't let me give you a name
With every fleeting line I write.

Warm hot taste
A burst of flavor
Soothing muscled arms and limbs

Let me be your whole three part meal.
 Jan 2015 silas
Ember Evanescent
Long Sleeves.
Always long sleeves.
Even the summer.


Who here gets it?
It doesn't mean you're "just cold".
repost if you get it.
 Jan 2015 silas
Public Diary
I'm envious of you two.

You both look so happy, truly in love.
You had to wait until he broke up with her and he finally did. Now you two are together, looking happier than ever.
You're being silly and goofy together, you laying on her lap.
You guys truly look happy.
You love her
And she loves you
I'm truly envious of you two
Just kinda jealous of these two enjoying each other even though I don't really know them
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