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Allison Jul 2014
Maybe we're not meant to be.
I found you, you found me.
Maybe we are stars.
Shooting around to hide our scars.
Maybe we are supposed to meet the wrong people.
We fall in love until our bones run feeble.
Maybe we're friends maybe we're more.
Don't leave me here, my heart is sore.
Maybe we're the lucky ones.
I might give my heart to you, but it weighs tons.
Allison Jul 2014
Why do people feel the need to replace me?
I am one person, one being
not a can of soda to put into a recycling bin.

Why do people feel the need to beat me?
I am one person, only human
not a punching bag to let your anger out with.

Why do people feel the need to leave?
I am one person, one soul
not a dog in a shelter.

Why do I always let you down?
I am a monster, a coward
not the one you've been searching for.
Allison Jun 2014
I'm not sorry for thinking this way
I'm not sorry for hating myself
I'm not sorry for skipping meals
I'm not sorry for eating too much
I'm not sorry for these scars
I'm not sorry for losing my virginity
I'm not sorry for the drugs
I'm not sorry for trying to **** myself

For when I do **** myself,
I'm sorry
It was an accident
It won't happen again
Allison Jun 2014
This is not a love story.
I took him and used him.
I had won a trophy, I was in glory.
His future with me was dim.
This is not a love story.

He is like a fly,
always following me.
I tried stabbing his eye,
But somehow he can still see.
He is like a fly.

He has finally disappeared.
I can finally breathe.
The coast has cleared.
You are now beneath.
He has finally disappeared.
Allison Jun 2014
I threw my hands in the air
You threw your words at me
They threw me back into a state of shock.
Tell me you love me and it will be alright.

I threw your things out on the balcony
You threw your hands in the air
I threw you into a state of madness.
Tell me you love me and it will be alright.

I threw myself onto the bed, crying.
You threw your body next to mine
I drew your lips close to mine.
Tell me you love me and it will be alright.
Allison Jun 2014
Often when I am sad I will find a maple tree.

One afternoon, when you broke my heart for the first time,
I found a maple tree which I could look at forever.
The Comfort Maple, home sweet home.

For the next ten years I found myself running to this maple.

One morning, when I had awoke at dawn, I sat under the tree.
I found an apricot - colored leaf sitting about two feet away.
I held it towards my heart, home sweet home.

When I woke up that Saturday morning, something was odd.
I saw you at the foot of my bed, in tears.
You were leaving me, oh, oh no.

I decided never to visit home again, because home reminded me of you.
I walked by everyday, shame in my heart.
Wherever you were, I wished I could go.

Thirty years later, I learned to write.

I learned to write thanks to the Comfort Maple.
I began to visit daily, writing my heart onto a leaf of paper.
Wherever you were, my heart left to find you.

When I heard the news you had passed, my old hands began to shake.
I was living without you, but now I actually had to.
I started to believe that you live on; you are a poem that breathes.
Allison Jun 2014
The way he exhaled as if it were his last
He held it between his *******,
as if it were the last flower he'd ever pick.
I only liked him for the way he smoked his cigarettes.

The way he swallowed as if it were his medicine
He carried it around as if it were his child,
and I admired it.
I only liked him for the way he drank his whiskey.

He said it like it was his vows
He made every promise like he'd never made one before
I loved everything that came out
I only liked him for the way he said "love".

I look back upon these reasons
I realize these aren't ways to love someone
But you left me with bullets in my head.
I do not love you, I do not love you.
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