Your day starts off differently
From all of the rest
5am workouts
Are how you remain the best

Always pushing forward
You can never look back
This is what helps you
Stay on your track

Judgements are made
But it won't slow your pace
Because nothing can keep you
Away from the chase

Sore muscles lead to ice baths
Training and recovery take time
It's not the destination that matters
But rather the climb

Running across the finish line
Is just where you begin
Hard work and determination
Makes you a champion

My mom never let me play in ball pits
She said they were filled with germs
If it were up to me I'd have played in them
But I had to live by her terms where
As healthy baby born and raised
Only germs would get me sick
So I chose to stay away
Although I thought it was a trick

My mom never let me play in ball pits
She'd say they are covered in bacteria
And that's all the criteria needed
For her method of protection
Against the risk of infection
But correction
What about the protection
I needed from my own reflection

Pinching and tucking and *******
In my stomach to make the image in the mirror hurt less
Fighting and crying and trying
Did my mom really do her best

Now I'm not blaming her for the absurdity
For it was me who created my insecurity
That I failed to overlook each day
But it's ok
Because my mom never let me play in ball pits

Each of us our has own struggles or disease
Not just the flu or strep throat
Mine was the desire to please
Let go of all the worries
But I could not let the war cease

We can hope for the best and pray
But if we all get sick anyway
I must admit
That sometimes I wish I played in ball pits

We live by the words "be perfect don't fail"
About us we should see what that reveals
We obsess over numbers on a scale
Expectations are set by these ideals

When did portion sizes become so small
It's hard to think of but needs to be said
Put my health first vs. do I care at all
A constant battle inside of my head

Strength and will-power silence the voices
My body shaming can finally stop
Pushing myself to make the right choices
In this battle I will come out on top

Because the exact moment I give in
I'm choosing to let society win

Freedom of speech
Until we speak too much
They revoke it and
That's when

The waves start rising
Covering our mouths
They don't test for breathing
They test to see if we retained the information

You don't know what it's like to breathe underwater
Because if you breathe underwater you drown
But if we can read or memorize under the water
To them, that's all that counts

They'll check you for
Another score and another grade
But they won't check your wrists
Where you take out the pain

For the days when the workload
Weighs more than you do
And the more it weighs
The more you lose

Easier to pretend I don't care

Holding onto something that doesn't exist

Breaking down
Ran to the room
She knew too well

Afraid of the trouble
Of her old habits
Hands shook easily
Suffering an attack
With clouds of evil feelings

Determination could not change the pain
Too weak to succeed
Gates closed in
Again she wished for death

Suicide
Like a never extinguished flame
Lurked in the air
For two years longer

Then awake,
One morning
She found life
Not as bothersome
As in the past

Still, She did not know
If the pain was shrinking daily
Or if she grew used to the suffering
And neglect