We both read our scripts,
but we're not on the same page.
You and I are just actors
who treat life as the stage.

We rehearse our lines,
but they're not what we mean,
for once lets break character
and call cut on this scene.

We could steal the show
if we rewrite the play
and end the charade
of this macabre matinee.

We've reached the finale,
there's no encore after all.
This is our shot,
our last curtain call.

It started as a puncture,
but the seam slowly ripped;
a thimble can't protect
from a poison needle tip.

She tried to mend it
by making more holes;
the tear only grew
and grew out of control.

At the spinning wheel
her life would quickly dwindle;
frantic attempts to hem
were depleting the spindle.

What started as a puncture
of seductive sedation
fueled the abuse
of machined perforation.

"Don't mourn a living corpse"
were the last words she said
as she drew the needle
that held the last thread.

I tell myself that this is it,
when the day is done.
When I wake I'll start anew,
but tomorrow never comes.

Tomorrow becomes today
more quickly than the last,
more quickly than the bottles empty
more weeks and months go past.

I buy the drink, the drink buys me
another day to run.
The demons waiting patiently
for when the day is done.

Tomorrow becomes today;
I waste it like before,
I waste it getting wasted,
but I'm wasting so much more

My friends, my health, my family
and those I cherish most;
watch the boy they used to love,
becoming just a ghost.

Tomorrow becomes today,
I may have missed it all,
I may have missed the last chance
just to never miss last call

I tell myself that this is it
when the day is done,
but the circle remains unbroken
and tomorrow never comes.

For the art of poetry
the city streets
stir slowly
waking with me.
A multitude of cars,
follow in front
and behind me.
They look like
that illusion
when two mirrors
reflect eternity
back and forth
between themselves.
They look like
a thousand
distorted reflections
of me
driving at a parallel pace
in different cars
with different faces
going to different places
for the same reason.

Days are dark, nights lay long,
Burning bridges keep us warm.
Wearily walking this road again
We bare the weight of the tinder,
The whispers and the flame.

What was once,
Shall never be the same.
The past floats as ash
Shadows cast on fallen rain.
While the willows weep in vain
The canopies confer in koans
The wind is passing wisdom,
Through leaves and seeds unsown.

I never felt like I belonged to anyone, or in anywhere.
I always had this feeling that i'm on my own, abstracted from all my surroundings.
Floating alone.
Detached from where I'm living.
I carry my soul & my body.
And I just wanted to feel for a moment, for a small amount of time that I belong somewhere, with someone.. because this feeling has taken over me to the point I'm afraid i'm losing myself.

It is the guilt,
Regret, plunging self-esteem
Hate, worthlessness,
Prejudice, hopelessness,
Secrecy, deception,
Desire, emptiness,
Rage, craziness,
Weakness, satisfaction,
Relief, anguish,
Brokenness, betrayal,
Joy, thrill,
Sadness, anger,
Hurt, misery,
Abuse, depression,
Loneliness, boredom,
Power, control,
Dreams, fantasies,
Violence, and suicide
That wound up,
The scars of addiction

Another year is gone,
Not feeling as strong.

Another year goes by,
Makes me want to cry.

Another year I'm bereft
Of everything left.

Another year I say:
*Take my pain away...