it has been days and weeks
since my tears kissed my cheeks
yet here i am, writing in such a long time
with you in my mind, i cant think of any rhyme

it's always you for months and weeks,
it's you my mind always thinks
your name my mouth always speaks
your soul my heart always seeks

i would long for silly things
and me, now, longs for
even sillier things.
but i'm also serious.

and looking back,
the things i long for are not silly at all.

all i wish for is to lay down in the chrysanthemums
and to look up from the bottom of the valley,
and to fall backwards into my thoughts.

another is to lay my hand
gently over another's, whenever we get
the opportunity to. or to
dip fingers in the bowl of flour along
with the other baking ingredients,
and make snow land on the other's hair
with a gentle flick of the fingers.

to wake up next to a soft,
gentle face, and a cracked open window
that's letting the fog from outside enter the room
and be the uninvited guest.

linking fingers, or arms,
with that same pajandrum, or simply
the one that i will admire in ways
i dont usually admire others.

my longings are not silly.
wanting a moment of peace is not silly.
wanting to know that when i am
older, wiser,
i will have someone who will love me back.

a younger, youthful version of me would disagree.

i want the older, wiser version of me to say,
"dont worry."
"dont fret."

i want the older, wiser version of me to say,
"you found your moment of peace,
and you found him."

[NEW]
Scientists know more about the
                 moon
           than the ocean.

[WAXING CRESCENT]
Light can only dive 200 meters
            down into the ocean.  Below it,
the “Midnight Zone” glows in the dark.  
(By standing in your shadow,
I am hoping to become
                                         bioluminescent.)

[FIRST QUARTER]
Life has a tendency to thrive in hostile environments.  
                                                 ­                        For this reason, Jupiter’s moon,
                                                           ­              Europa, may be able to support
                                                                ­         life within the global ocean of
                                                              ­           liquid water that is hidden
                                                          ­               beneath the ice at its surface.
(This is why I am able to bloom in the dark.)

[WAXING GIBBOUS]
The ocean bows to no one but the moon.  Turn
off the lights.  Turn up the stars.  Low tide wants to
fold back inside itself and lap against the
                             shores of the Sea of Tranquility.  
High tide just wants to be noticed.

[FULL]
But a heated black body sunspot,
                (isolated from the rest
                of the photosphere),
still shines brighter than the moon.  Wolves should
be howling at the sun instead.

beat of drums, a song of solitude.
A deep and timid red, so softly hued.
Majestic beauty, truth is deep like night.
I come to play, if playing king is right.
A love is tempting, lust is just a game.
I steal a kiss as fears do turn from shame.
A sigh, a tie, I twist in pleasures sting.
I close my eyes, it's worth remembering.
A song of ***, a dance, I need to hear.
The sound of rushing, breathing, near my ear.
I tie a rope around a willing wrist.
A tie so red it makes the roses twist.
A puppet, pawn, my game is chess, I win.
A check, my mate, be ready to begin.
I feast on pain and pleasure, giving more.
Enjoy the time behind the dark red door.

Why does normality **** creativity!
Why does it always get in the way
like yesterdays rain spilling into
tomorrows sun.
I cant run from this.
I cant escape this dreary rule of
mundane society.
I want to write!
'Then write' you say.
but I can't,
not with normality being
the murderer of my muse.
How can I create something beautiful,
wonderful,
brilliant,
magnificent
When normality is just one step outside my door.

I came home to you one day,
Your things all packed
like you were going away

"Change of plans?" I asked.

"Change of heart."

a.g