thoughts drop like ashes from a cigarette

anchored to the earth.
where the willows wait without wonder
the cows and me

though their not cows but steers
one day heading to the slaughter house
and  endless sleep.

they stare at me

a reflection in the mirror of time.

we share this knowledge of
not knowing when.

I'll try to be on time when my end comes.

            *   *   **

my daughter wants
to know
what happens when we die

well, i tell her, "we become
the trees
grass and flowers." and

she says,
"Maybe i'll become a flower."

aborted babies in jars.

who might they have become?

perhaps another paul cezanne.
maybe a worker at burger king,
or perhaps the next muhammad ali
heavy weight champion of the world.

could be an axe ******
or worse
a politician or a lawyer.

maybe the next ernest hemingway.

the bitter taste of burnt dreams
lost in a prison of expectation.

screams of  the heart.

I have been daydreaming my dream.
Can I tell you what that is?
Standing on a stage in front of a
supremely silent crowd as I
speak of my heart. My life.
My God.

JESUS CHRIST.

This after performing the most
righteous (hippie slang for awesome) music. Music I have
written and SO long to share with
the world.

I have been preparing for this
all my life. Even though I was raised
an atheist. I've had this dream to
stand up for something of the
greatest impact, importance
and beauty.

I had this dream of
Jesus Christ returning you see.
When I was 10. I know His Spirit
has never left. But He will
return ******

I DREAMT THIS BEFORE I EVER
READ THE BIBLE OR WENT TO
CHURCH. He came to me in this
dream. On a white horse and the
Host behind Him. From the clouds
they rode in pure GLORY!

I could not see His face. But I sure
heard His voice. Which said;

"Cathy. I'm coming back.
You and your family
have to be READY".

Maybe you are an unbeliever.
But can you see how I would feel
as I do? Also go to the site search engine. Type in "Salvation Story
by SoulSurvivor". If this testimony
doesn't move you nothing will.
I want to share with the world
how Jesus Christ literally saved
my life. What better way than
with music? The universal
language.

I have a dream. Of megalithic
angels standing around the stadium.
People in AWE! Not of me.
Of God.

My message?

No more war.
LOVE.
REPENTANCE.
LEVELING OF PRIDE.

FORGIVENESS.

I believe that God would not
have put this in my heart if He
didn't want to, at least, allow me
to TRY!

I have a dream. That i was broken.
Then completely healed.
In my BODY, MIND and SPIRIT.

For 20 years God has been
leveling my pride. It needed it.
For 10 I've been writing
poetry, music and songs.

Now it's time.

My music will be released on
YouTube and Soundcloud
next month. The links announced.

I figure if you're gonna dream...

DREAM BiG.

Notice the little i in the middle of
BiG? That's ME. If I get a big head
the weight of it will make me fall.

Will you support me? PRAY.
Send good thoughts skyward.
I'll need every last one.

Thank you!

♥ Catherine

[The lines of the hands formed a complex map]

Reality strikes
The days pass by
Two lines
Different seasons
Separate stations

[Reality hitting on the rocks]

Curve line erasing the good things of the past
2 drops of water falling on the way to the office
  |        |
  |        |
  |        |  Old soundtrack passes over parallel tracks
Theater full, broken line

Days pass and pass
Birthdays pass, not words
Difficult to pretend to be well
No words happen

Places I’m not, line closed
Places you are not, closed line

Romanticism doesn’t feel the same as maps on our maps
2 parallel drops fall
|                               |
The game hits me against the rocks
You don’t follow me in a straight line

[Reality catches me]

there are no words
there is nothing
thick fog

The same lines
Now they are parallel
Your reality hits

[The lines in my hand no longer form a map]

   - Codelandandmore // 4:00 PM ©

Lairs twist life so it's tasty to the lazy
Powerful to the weak and crazy

Brilliant and seductive to the
ignorant youth
But even in pain, there is beauty in the truth

Even a tiny bit of deceit is dishonorable
For only cowards lie selfishly without preamble

As lies only strengthen a liar's defects
A liar's character, mind, & spirit gains no positive affects

The abuser of the truth paints with disappearing colors
Valuing the canvass at worthless dollars

For once the veil of the facade is lifted
Honesty, integrity and trust can never be re-gifted.

Unhappy are the takers
Or why else be fakers?

But to devastate the essence of the believer
Measures the cruelty of the deceiver

Inner peace with self deception
Is the doing of one's own soul's destruction

However if truth be told
When lies gradually unfold,

Is it better to be the believer
Or the deceiver?