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Jan 2020 · 107
Silence.
Deep breaths, relax, be at ease,
close your eyes and sigh a relief,
for the day has passed and you were in it,
it gets better tomorrow, you best believe it


But the nights are a bit longer,
even if you’re already at peace,
because once the voices you hear are gone,
what's left is silence, the loudest sound.
Isn’t it weird that silence means no sound but somehow I can hear it the loudest.
Jan 2020 · 70
Walls
The walls have ears,
always listening to every word you say

If the walls could speak,
I hope it tells you it’s all going to be okay

If the walls could touch,
I hope it holds you tight night or day

If the walls could feel,
I hope it takes those feelings away

If only the walls could
Dec 2019 · 144
A bitter acceptance
A thousand miles away from you
Across the south china sea
Oh how I wish you were here
Right next to me

In the dead of night
I’m alone and cold
Missing your warmth
In my arms to hold

Just you by my side
Was enough to take my troubles away
I really hoped you grabbed my arms
And asked me to stay

You were all that I wanted
But you’ve made up your mind
I had no choice but to go
And accept the fact you never wanted to be mine
Nov 2018 · 287
Next.
I’m up every night,
always have something to write
My mind won’t go to rest,
Overwhelmed with emotions,
I really must confess

So I pick up a pen and paper,
to hopefully move on to the next chapter,
Finally writing for someone new,
instead of clinging to the thoughts,
Of you.
Nov 2018 · 244
Expectations
When flowers couldn’t bloom
in the cold winter breeze
Would you blame the icy freeze?
Or the flower that can’t blossom with ease?

Then who is at fault?
If one that fails to meet
the expectations of the other?
When the other only spends
to much time in fantasies hoping that they would end up as lovers?

Nothing in this world is certain
to go always as planned,
So don’t  set your bar too high,
no one could ever reach it,
Reality will only reward you
with disappointments in the end
Oct 2018 · 280
Detaching
“I won’t hold you back anymore,”
he said, as he slowly untangles the chains

She was the one he always adore,
but he had to let go of whatever that remains
Oct 2018 · 218
Between the lines
Can’t break the tether between you and
I
Impossible to move forward when time stood
still
Every inch of you I secretly
adore
Guess now I’ll never have the chance to tell
you

....
Oct 2018 · 200
Lonely
What a terrible shame

We live in a time
where people would rather live
in solitude and isolation

When all they want
is just someone to hold
and help them through damnation
Oct 2018 · 317
Motion
Like a retired sailor
that misses the ocean,
I still lust for your love,
overwhelming me with emotions

Gradually you seem
to have lost your devotion,
Now we’re just two particles
going through the motions.
Oct 2018 · 1.2k
Unforgettable
Amazing how in the comfort of your company alone,
Made me oblivious to the voices in my head.
But now that you’re already gone,
Your sound is the hardest thing for me to soon forget.
Oct 2018 · 214
Worth
Was it worth it?
finding peace and serenity in the the drugs you consume?
But leaving you feeling alone and empty in the corner of you room
right after?

Depriving yourself from any sort of self care
just to numb out the pain you can't bare?
Did it help you get better?
Did it help and save you from sending that letter?
Or was it just an excuse to forget how it felt, to be abandoned
for another?

Forever cursed, stuck in this never ending loop
unless you realize what you crave for is growth.
Flushing out the poison that you fill yourself with
and finally know your
                                                                ­                
                                          Self worth.

Sep 2018 · 107
Stuck II
Run, run, run,
Running away from my problems
Seems like the only thing I could do,
Solving it would bring up emotions
I could never see it through,

I just wanna let go,
All this weight on my shoulders
Its too heavy,
Slowly sinking me deeper,
In the oblivion that I am forever
Stuck in,

The drugs don't work anymore,
I can still feel everything,
Prescribe me something stronger,
Something more numbing,
To **** off the demons in my head,
I can still hear them humming,

Really wish it was easy
Overcoming the enemy inside me,
But the closer I reach victory,
The walls keeps getting higher,
I just can't continue climbing,
Out of breath, its too **** tiring

I guess I'll just stay here
And watch myself burn in the furnace,
Forever stuck in this cycle,
Never getting out from this
Perpetual process.
Aug 2018 · 107
11:34
Don't really wanna talk
Don't really wanna say
That I wake up feeling lonely
Every ******* day
Wish it would turn out great
And go the other way
Just for once why can't people just stay

Could be better, could be worse
Hold up what's my next verse
Getting out of sight, out of mind
Life will never be just a straight line
But we'll be alright, that's a fact
We made a pact that we'll find a way
Never to be together, and still be okay
Jul 2018 · 143
Untitled
Ignore me now,
And lose me,
Forever.

Show me happiness,
And tell me,
Never.
Jul 2018 · 886
Eyes
Baby,
I've seen you happy,
So I honestly know when you're sad,
Thinking of all the good times we had
You really can fake a smile,
But eyes could never lie,
Could never hide,
What you really feel,
Deep down inside.
Jul 2018 · 152
Take me back
Take me back to the night we met,
The one night I'll never forget,
When my heart, beats out of my chest,
****, my mind won't go to rest

Take me back to the night we talked
Each secret, getting unlocked
Poured out both our soul and mind
Strangers, now intertwined

Take me back to the night we fought,
Hitting each other's weak spot,
You promised it won't be the same,
And baby, I was to blame

Take me back to the night we agreed,
No matter how much I plead,
I could never make you stay,
Everytime, I had to make way

Take me back,
                          Take me back.
Jul 2018 · 167
Apart
You're too afraid to try,
The fear of abandonment lingers,
So you decided to say goodbye
Without closure, favor,
Nothing to savor

You lifted the burden
But little did you know,
That the truth is
It's never easy, letting go

So you're left feeling empty
Nothing but skin,
Soon to realize that detaching
Is a deadly sin,
Its true men make mistakes,
that I can bet,
But baby, you haven't tasted it yet,

The human bond is a work of art,
You'll know how strong it is
When you pull it further,
Apart.
Jul 2018 · 101
Pain
Pain
Is fundamental
Only when I'm hurting
I could write up something sentimental

I would purposely hurt myself
Just to know if I still feel
Maybe this time,
I can cry for something real

Its torture,
I'm certain
But sometimes you need hell
Just to get a little piece of heaven

Appreciate the pain
Even though its suffering
You could learn a thing or two from it
And make your life worth living
Jul 2018 · 193
Is it love?
Is it love,
When you always end up fogiving?
No matter how painful it was
to see the other person leaving

Is it love,
When all you see is perfection?
Never paying attention to thier flaws
Giving them nothing but affection

Is it love,
When you wish them the best?
Even when it means it isn't you
At least you know that they are blessed
Jul 2018 · 122
Choices
Loving
Can be misleading
It could either give you paradise
Or leave you to suffer

Time
Is worth more than a dime
It could put distance between people
Or brings them closer all together

Silence
Feels nothing but absence
It could heal your soul
Or destroys you forever

Choices
Will always leave traces
You're one step closer to a better life
Or a step back closer to the knife
Jul 2018 · 101
Grey
With you, it was grey
   Never black or white
      Never happy or sad
         Never leave or stay
            Never love or hate
               It was always grey
Jul 2018 · 422
Lesson
I spoke to God tonight
Cause the only one that knows how I feel
Is the one who took away my moonlight

Who else to talk to at 3am
Everyone is busy sleeping
I really wish these feelings could scram

I keep losing sleep
“What was my mistake”is all I could think of
Didn’t realise losing you would cut this deep

Oh why would I risk that uncertainty
I opened myself to you so easily
I took that leap so carelessly

I’ve learned my lesson
Heartless is what I should be
Maybe that could help me get over this mess I’m in
Jul 2018 · 177
Good morning
Mornings are hard
When all I could think about is you
I would spend all day just to put myself together
Just to fall a part again at night
I just can't seem to break the tether
How do I let go when you're already embedded in my head
I can't even listen to my name
Cause the only voice I could hear saying it is you
Talking to you every day was more than a routine
Now that you're gone, I really have no clue on what to do
All I could do now is hope that you'll come through
To say I'm missing you is an understatement
I miss every piece of you
Your eyes, nose, and lips,
I miss the sound of your voice,
to the breaths that you take in between
I miss the effect you had on me
You became the drug that I need
I can't get rid of your nicotine
I hope to wake up to a morning
Where I could just think of nothing
And start the day fresh, oh God this is crushing
I guess for now, I get to indulge
waking up to days reminiscing you
Jul 2018 · 184
Don't
Don't let them in
And let them know your sin
They'll just come and take everything
Leaving you with nothing but an empty skin

Don't let them in
And let them say that you're okay
Making you feel like you need them
And expect them to stay

Don't let them in
Its all just a trick
They just wanna take a look inside
Even just a peek

Don't let them in
Keep everything to yourself
Never pour out your soul again
Keep your emotions on a shelf

Don't let them in
Its better this way
Maybe when you're gone
They won't even remember you on your birthday
Feb 2018 · 232
Stuck
There are times
When all I could write about was you
But it would never explain
Why we were through

The thoughts of it
Kept me awake late at night
Did I make a mistake?
I could never get things right

I'd try to move on
Renewing myself with art
But just like a movie
You were the best part

I hope one day
I would write about someone new
Until the time comes
Here is another one for you
Feb 2018 · 124
Sorry
I'm sorry I couldn't be as smart as my
brothers

I'm sorry I couldn't be as kind as
others

I'm sorry I couldn't share my secrets to
my mother

I'm sorry I couldn't seek advice from
my father

I'm sorry that I couldn't go any
further

I'm sorry that I couldn't stay any
longer

I'm sorry I couldn't make myself
better

I'm sorry you had to read this
letter
Jan 2018 · 126
I'm okay
You don't need me anymore
You know its true
Stop worrying about me like before
And spend your efforts on you

You're already miles ahead
I just can't follow
Just sleep on that comfortable bed
Dream yourself a better tomorrow

I couldn't be what you needed
I had to make way
With the parting wishes you provided
I'll be okay
I realized that I can't keep holding you back anymore
Nov 2017 · 109
Life
If good is what the world should be,
Then why is there evil?
Why let us endure the pain of reality,
When we could've enjoy paradise?
I don't doubt God's plans
But I'd think about this a lot
Maybe this life was given
For us to get it all figured out
Late night thoughts
Nov 2017 · 175
Dreamscape
I tend to spend most of my time in dreams
People around me are bothered, it seems
A qoute I got from a book said
Reality exist because of our minds, without it, there is no universe.
So it got me thinking,
If the mind makes up the concept of our reality,
Are our dreams also part of our reality?
I'd invest my time in this theory,
Cause maybe I feel that we could control our dreams,
The only limit is our imagination
Or maybe, I feel happier in the comfort of my mind,
Rather than constantly trying to please the minds of others.
Nov 2017 · 476
Unhealthy
Would you diagnose
This disease that's killing me
The medicine on the top shelf
Couldn't help me at most

A pain I can't describe
Just like a virus
It divides itself
By latching to my insides

I'm going sick
Prescribe me a cure
Open me up if you must
Just let it be quick

In need of healing
Before it gets worse
Lend me a helping hand
I'm slowly dying
Nov 2017 · 2.6k
Fictional relationship
They haven't met each other yet,
But they've already fell in love,
I can bet

Spent days talking to each other,
Without physically hearing the words,
straight from their lover

Attachment became inevitable,
When it goes on everyday like this,
Its impending, unescapable

Promises were made without a doubt
They needed to reassure each other, that the feelings won't fade out

They've already invested in the idea,
How they want a future together,
Even to naming their daughter Sofia

It all seemed so perfect,
But they were never aware, that their relationship was the imagination's effect

They still haven't met each other yet,
It's a concept that millennials get,
By filling their lives with regret
I think our generation "the millennials" tend to go through this situation at least once. We somehow could find comfort in strangers online, and finally feel attach. We fill ourselves with these feelings and finally fall for something so abstract.
Nov 2017 · 256
Impermanent
I don't mind the late replies
cause I know how busy you are
I've been through it too
its not that bizzare

I don't mind the distance
I realized we needed a break
A singer could make words sound majestic
With the breaths in between that he has to take

I don't mind the sleepless nights
wishing you'll look for me this late
Missing the small talks we would have  
****, I won't fall asleep at this rate

I try not to worry myself with all this
Its hard but I'll endure it alone
Just have to remind myself of the impermanence
Of the reality well-known
Nov 2017 · 456
Decelerate
Slow it down
Take your time
Don't keep forcing your mind
You'll think of that rhyme

In this up-to-date era
I get why its hard not to rush
Society constantly seems to be in a hurry
Ugh, he didn't flush

Calm your head
Pause and breathe
Notice the things you normally won't
Get the sense of the ground beneath

Go out
Mix around
Enjoy every moment you possibly can
You'll make this place feel like your home town

Always live
Don't just exist
Stop chasing that stupid deadline
And eventually spending your future in reminisce
How to never stop being alone?

Don't greet strangers,
not even a smile
Keep yourself silent,
let awkwardness sink in for a while

Fall for someone,
Make them cling on to you,
Once they poured their heart and soul,
Start replying their messages after a day or two

Soak yourself in that pile of ego,
you're better than everyone, right?
Spend your time behind the screens,
Feed your self-pride even just a bite

Avoid the ones close to you
They're not worth your time
Lie to yourself "got better things to do"
Maybe you'll get to start a rhyme

Go for drive, even just for a while
Clear your head, enjoy the scenery
Surely it pops up once in your mind
You're better off alone, stick to that theory

That's how you stay alone

sz
Got the ideas from 2 song i've listen to lately
*How do you fight loneliness by wilco
*How to never stop being sad by dandelion    hands
Nov 2017 · 164
A note for you
I was looking for a change on my life,
hated the path i've taken,
felt like being at the edge of a knife,

I thought about it, giving up,
Letting what I thought was inevitable, giving myself a choice to never wake up

Most have been through this stage
And bounce back,
But not everyone could continue and write their following page

Those fortunate didn't have to cry for help
They had their ways to make things better
What kept them going shouldn't matter

For those characters that ended their chapter
You didn't leave nothing behind
You reminded us all that humankind could've been healthier to one another

Finally to the ones that are in this current phase
Everyone hopes you're in a good place
Your existence isn't dispensable
Carry through, although its unbearable

It gets better altogether

Life is a coaster ride, you'll get back up again,
Everyone has a tide, it all comes down the rain
Not an illness, but an emotion.
Its shows how more human you are than everyone else.
Oct 2017 · 258
Senses
All the wonders of the world,
none of them could compare to how amazing the human senses work

Imagine unknowingly capturing little details of a person

Like how she only has that one small canine tooth
that you keep noticing everytime you think of her smile

Or the way she smells just like strawberries and rainbows
just when she runs her fingers through her hair

Maybe that little hick up sound she makes at the end of every chuckle, similar to the way she would pull back her tongue when ending a kiss

Oh what a wonderful gift
Oct 2017 · 208
Ahadun
Preparing yourself for the incoming week would keep you up even in comfortable weather
Sundays are just a reminder that you do not have your **** together
Dec 2016 · 333
December


Cold December breeze fills the air
Perfect weather for a warm cup of tea
The thought of you with someone else, I just cant bare
Its 2 in the morning and I wish you've chosen me

Beautiful night sky as far as the eye could see
The stars wouldn't shine this bright in the light of day
Missing the times we spent by the sea
I'm just hoping our paths would cross along the way

Its almost 3, maybe I should take a break
Another day to go through, I already can't wait for it to be over
Truth be told, i'll admit it was all my mistake
I left you so easily without any closure


Nov 2016 · 228
Mind
How deep can your soul go
When you lay awake at night
With nothing but loneliness by your side

Where the mind goes to a darker place
You keep telling yourself "its just a phase"
Deep down you know its just a lie
So that you could forget the way she left
Without a goodbye
Sep 2015 · 520
Speak
Tell me everything about you
Your secrets, fears, passion
Because I want to get to know you
Better than ever

I could spend my days
Listening to you talk
Every moment, minute, second
Just to fall for you repeatedly

Every time you speak
Its like your eyes light up
You'd smile so many times
I got lost in them
Aug 2015 · 799
That someone
There will always be someone
you compare everyone to,
Could be family,
A friend,
A past lover

You'll try to find the qualities
she have in others
Maybe in the way they talk,
Someting they did,
Or just simply a lovely smile

You look for someone like her
Because you can't have her
You would say you hate her
Would break her if you see her again
But deep down
All you ever wanted
Was her all along
A feeling that I had since last year.
Could never find the right way to express it, but finally I can :)
Aug 2015 · 786
On your own
I rarely tell anyone
Anything that is going on in my life
Because I don't have someone to talk to
Everyday

I usually like being alone
Figuring out my problems myself
Maybe its because I have trust issues
Since that day

But is better to keep it to myself
Rather than letting the world know
What I struggle with
Day to day

Because in the end
I know i'm on my own
"Every man for himself"
Aug 2015 · 481
A ciggarette
I'm not a smoker anymore
But I do smoke an occasional ciggarette
Just when i'm really happy
Or maybe feeling lonely
Sometimes just to let my mind free
To write up some ****** poetry

Its weird how something that kills you
Would somehow save you
From the ******* of the world
Your own mind overthinking
And even the doubts you have of yourself
People's words were train to cut you deep,
And they say smoking kills.
From a thought I kept to myself
Aug 2015 · 352
Skinny love
Skinny love
Is just for those people
Who can't admit their feelings

You won't tell them how you feel
But you get jealous when they're with other guys
So don't tell people its her fault
When clearly its yours

Skinny love is stupid
Just say it
Aug 2015 · 403
Older brother
I grew up
Without an older brother
Explains why I dont really have someone
To guide me

But since I've been here
I think I've found three
Each different in their own way
To push me

One of them
Help me find peace
Through religion, through prayer
To give myself to the Almighty

Another one
Gives me a sense of my responsibilites
Most of the time he's tough on me
But at least I know he cares willingly

The other
Teaches me to enjoy life
To not take life too seriously
Lets me feel free

All of them
Are not blood
But to me
I know that they will always be considered
As part of my family
Aug 2015 · 199
Random thought
How could a place so crowded
Can make a person feel so alone
Aug 2015 · 310
Leave
You left
Dont you understand
What you did to me
Tore me apart

You left
You started to treat me differently
We wouldnt talk like we used to
It was like a knife straight to my heart

You left
For the second time
You promised you've changed
But I guess it was a lie

You came back
To promise me the same thing
But if you think i'd forgive you again
Then you must think of me as a fool

I left
Without any word to say
Because I know that i'm not that stupid
To let you drown me again in your pool

Of lies
False promises
Deceits
Aug 2015 · 1.4k
My habit
At some point in the day
I would just sit quietly
Staring blankly at something
Maybe a tree, maybe a cup of coffee
I never figured out why
But all I know is that I will always think
About the same thing
Again
And again
Aug 2015 · 561
Cold rainy nights
Cold rainy nights are the best, I cant deny, Listening to the sound of raindrops,
Time just simply passes by,
All the worries somehow goes away,
I wouldnt mind to stay,
Just having a peace of mind,
Finding tranquility in these moments,
Is easier than any other,
Maybe because it reminds me of the time spent with my mother
Aug 2015 · 367
Purpose
Guess I have no purpose,
No direction,
Maybe its because,
I never had a real passion

Everything I did so far
Was all unplanned,
Was all spontaneous,
The reason why it was so adventurous

I never regretted the things I did,
Even when it ended badly,
At least I didnt waste my time,
At night feeling sorry

I was blessed with this sickness,
This curse,
To not figure out my life,
But  never consider it as my weakness

Some are born with plans,
Some are not,
But that doesnt mean,
I'm a **useless machine
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